


The One Thing That Changes Everything

by flyingorfalling



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dad!Tony, Extremis, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Baby, Iron Dad, Iron Family, Mom!Pepper, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Pepper Potts as Rescue, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Tony Stark, Romance, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Uncle Happy, Uncle Rhodey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-04-17 04:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14180454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingorfalling/pseuds/flyingorfalling
Summary: Pepper stared at herself in the mirror. Her pale reflection stared back at her. All she had to do was look down and she'd know. But now that it probably held an answer, she wasn't sure anymore if she even wanted to find out. She forced herself to look at the stick. Then it was as if she went into a trance. She stared at the test for minutes without moving a muscle. Tears pooled in her eyes and quickly obscured the result. The two blue lines were so blue. There really was no doubt in their existence. She was pregnant.





	1. Old Acquaintance

**Author's Note:**

> AU following the MCU timeline, starting with IM3. I won't include every single scene from the movies because that'd be boring af, but take what I think works well with this theme. And then of course I'll try to cover the time in-between movies. I don't know if this has been done before, so anyone who has actually published something similar may forgive me. I got this idea when RDJ talked about Tony wanting to be a dad and it just kind of snowballed from there.
> 
> It's my first piece about Pepperony, though I've been in love with them forever, and I'm not sure I even know how to write them, but I'm willing to try. This is just to see if anyone's interested in reading more. Let me know... Also, I'm not a native to English, so kindly excuse any serious mistakes.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, giving her a very concerned look, as she exited the restroom. Pepper looked surprisingly well, considering how much she puked today. "You know, I really think you should tell him. I don't feel good being the only one, who knows about… It's just too much responsibility for me. What if something bad happens?"

Happy stared at her with wary eyes, until Pepper laughed nervously. She didn't know when, but at some point, she had turned into a nervous wreck about breaking the news to Tony that he was going to be a father. While she would've welcomed such a gift from Mother Nature not too long ago, the recent alien incident in New York had changed all that. Now, she spent every single day, thinking about all that could go wrong. Happy feared something bad might happen to her or the baby? Well, she was living with that fear ever since she found out about the pregnancy.

"I will tell him tonight," she said, smiling at the thought of her upcoming date with Tony. Getting to spend an entire evening with him alone, while his suits were safely locked up in the workshop, was rare. But she looked forward to spending a romantic night together, undisturbed. "And I am _not_ your responsibility Happy," she added, softly.

"But I–I care about you." He sounded slightly offended.

"I know that," Pepper assured him, "and it's really sweet, but you don't need to worry, okay? I'm fine." She took the folder, that he had been so kindly holding for her, and ran her spare hand across her still flat stomach. "We _both_ are."

He sighed. "And you're sure there isn't anything I can do to–"

"You can tell me about the... um... thing you wanted to talk to me about earlier, before I decided to work on my upchuck reflexes."

"The thing?" Happy frowned. "Oh, _that_ thing. Yes. Right. So, listen," he started, as they walked down the halls of Stark Industries. "Since the company is doing so well now, we have a lot of people working here, you know, and folks come in here every day… to meet with you or Tony. It's hard for our cleaning personal to keep up... I saw it, Pepper. I mean, you've just been in there. You saw it, too, right? Then, there's the things that need fixing, like day-to-day fixing, and so I told Tony about the problems we have and–"

"Happy?"

"Yes?"

"Make it quick."

"Quick. Okay. Well, Tony thinks... I mean, I think... Well, we both think we can use some of these old bots that he has. They can do a lot more than our janitorial staff can do. I mean in a shorter amount of time and the best thing is, you don't even have to supervise them. They're programmed to work on their own. That's what Tony said... you know, like DUM-E. But then he also said, DUM-E constantly needs someone to look out for hi–" He paused as Pepper rolled her eyes at him. Shoot! He knew better than to mess with Pepper Potts, especially if her pregnancy hormones were raging. "Tony has got them in his basement. They're wearing party hats. This is an asset that we can put to use," he finished off quickly, as they entered the lobby.

"Uh-huh," Pepper let out, grabbing a pen from one of her staff members to sign a document on the way. "So, you're suggesting that I replace the entire janitorial staff with _robots_."

"What I'm saying is, that the human element of human resources is our biggest point of vulnerability," he argued. "We should start phasing it out immediately."

"What?" she screwed up her face and raised her arm in disbelief, emphasizing how ridiculous his suggestion was. "Did you just say that?" Sometimes she couldn't help but think that she was the only one, out of the three of them, with any common sense. "Happy?"

"Yes?"

"Okay." She didn't want to offend him, so she had to break it to him nicely. Maybe if she smiled, Happy wouldn't take it the wrong way. "I am _thrilled_ that you are now the Head of Security, okay? It's the perfect position for you."

"Thank you."

"However..."

"I do appreciate it."

"Since you've taken the post..."

"You don't have to thank me."

God, would he just listen?

"We've had a rise in staff complaints of 300 percent." Pepper's tone was serious now, a little more serious than she had intended it to be.

"Thank you," Happy replied contentedly.

"It's not a compliment," she noted, face-palming herself internally.

"It's not a comp–It _is_ a compliment! Clearly, somebody is trying to hide something."

"I..." Pepper paused. She didn't even know how to respond to that. Confusion registered on her face, as she tried to make sense of his words. But before she could, her secretary interrupted them.

"Excuse me."

"Yes," she answered, slightly harsh. _Hormones, Pepper_ , she told herself. She could always blame her hormones for her foul moods. But then people would know about her pregnancy… and no one knew yet. Well, no one but Happy.

"Ms. Potts, your 4 o'clock is here."

She sucked in a breath that no one could hear, forced herself to breathe evenly, calming her emotions. She felt completely stressed out. Today had been rough and exhausting. And if that wasn't enough, she had been nauseous since the minute she opened her eyes that morning. Maybe telling Tony about the pregnancy would make her feel better, and if not, then at least she could be in a bad mood and nauseous with him knowing.

"Thank you," she said, wishing she could go home right now instead.

"Did you clear this 4 o'clock with me?" Happy asked, fixating his gaze on the woman next to them, but Pepper stopped him.

"Happy, we'll talk about this later," she said, smiling—almost as if she was looking forward to it—"but right now, I have to go deal with this very annoying _thing_."

She would indeed rather be swamped by Happy's flood of words and listen to whatever strange thought he had than hearing anything Aldrich Killian had to say. Just being in the same room with him was unpleasant, as far as she remembered. The man hadn't exactly been an expert on pick-up lines and she had quite enough reason to vomit these days.

"How so?"

"I used to work with him," she whispered, entering her office, "and he used to ask me out all the time, so it's a little awkward."

"I don't like the sound of that," Happy remarked, wondering if he should call Tony and let him know that this guy might be trouble.

"Pepper," the old acquaintance welcomed her with a grin on his face.

His _smug_ face, Happy noted. That guy was definitely trouble.

"Killian?"

When Pepper spotted him, her jaw almost dropped to the floor. She couldn't believe the man standing in front of her was the same guy who had shamelessly hit on her back then; that same _nasty_ guy. She hadn't recognized him. Lord, she still didn't recognize him. Aldrich Killian wasn't a long-haired geek with glasses and physical infirmities anymore, but appeared tall, lean and tan, and—she hated herself to even admit it—handsome. The ugly duckling had apparently grown into a beautiful swan. Well, he wasn't _that_ beautiful, just… _different_. Good-looking.

"You look great," he noticed, while she was still stunned by his appearance. "You look _really_ great."

"God, you look–you look great. I–I–I can't–" Pepper stammered, realizing that she wasn't going to be able to ignore his good looks, but still trying to think of some way dismiss it. "What on earth have you been doing?"

"Nothing fancy. Just five years in the hands of physical therapists," he explained. "And please, call me Aldrich."

"Uh, you were supposed to be issued a security badge," Happy piped in.

He never stopped eyeing Aldrich, suspiciously. Seeing Pepper's reaction and Killian's obvious enjoyment of the affect he was having on her, made Happy even more suspicious of him. He could only hope Pepper knew what she was getting herself into. She loved Tony, Happy knew that. He actually trusted Pepper more to not ruin their relationship that he did Tony. But he didn't trust this Killian guy. Oh no, he didn't trust that smug bastard one bit. Killian was drooling all over Pepper, like a bullmastiff; just like Tony used to do—like Tony still did.

"Happy, it's okay," she assured him, "We're good."

"You sure?" _Because I'm not_ , he thought to himself. But there was no point in arguing with her. He didn't have a choice. He had to leave them alone.

"Stand down," Pepper basically pushed him out of the door.

"I'm gonna linger right here," Happy said, as he shot Killian one last look to make sure that he knew he was damn serious about keeping tabs on him—as the Head of Security, but more so as Pepper and Tony's friend. He wouldn't let anything or anyone mess with their relationship.

"It's very nice to see you, Killian," Pepper mentioned with a smile, as she walked past him to go sit down on the couch.

Feeling a nauseous ripple in her stomach, she put a hand on her tummy, rubbing circles, and prayed that her baby wouldn't make her throw up again during her meeting with Aldrich. She didn't want to explain to him, what made her run off to the restroom. This kid, this _fetus_ , seemed to be as fidgety as its father already. Pepper yearned to see the day when their child would finally be born into this world—the moment she could hold it in her arms and kiss it with all the love she could find. Unfortunately though, she still had at least three goddamn months of morning sickness ahead of her and then a few more with a belly the size of a beach ball.

"You okay there?"

It had only been there for a second, but Killian had seen the pained look on her face. Was he actively staring at her? Pepper couldn't tell. She hadn't kept her eyes on him. But it made her extremely uncomfortable to be with him, carrying this big secret inside that could very well explode like a bomb, if she dared to be careless for just a second. A simple act of moving her hand in circles across her belly. She couldn't do that. He'd notice. But if she pulled it away too fast, he might also notice.

Pepper managed to fake a smile to draw Killian's attention away from the lower part of her body to her face, then swiftly removed her hand from her stomach. It worked. He hadn't noticed. Of course, it had worked. After all, she had spent weeks, perfecting that move—the fake smile, to hide this pregnancy from Tony. Whenever a sudden wave of nausea would hit her or she had felt a small pain while they were talking, she had used that on him. But what possessed her to wait till Christmas to spill the beans? It would have been so much easier for her to do her job if everyone just knew… _especially_ Tony.

Pepper nodded. "It's been a long day," she answered and then got straight to the point to distract him further. Maybe she was being paranoid, making a mountain out of a molehill. "So, what's your pitch, Killian? You said something about funding and research of... a program?"


	2. Extremis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely feedback, comments and kudos. Appreciate it so much.
> 
> I hope that little insight into thoughts and feelings makes up for using all those lines y'all know too well. I just try to keep it as close to canon as I can. There will be more original dialogue/content in the next chapters, which is fun to write, and I hope you'll enjoy.

Killian sat down opposite her. "After years of dodging the President's ban on immoral," he made an air-quote gesture with his fingers, "biotech research, my think tank now has a little something in the pipeline." He pulled out a little box, attached what looked like a transmitter to the back of his ear, and continued, "It's an idea we like to call... Extremis."

Pepper watched as he turned the lights down, telling her to regard the human brain, and then opened his hand to expose three small globes which he bowled across the coffee table. They turned out to be some kind of nanobots, transmitting a colorful 3D hologram, which filled the entire room with light.

"Uh... Wait, hold on… hold on. That's... That's the universe. My bad! But if I do that," he pushed a button on his remote, "That's the brain."

The hologram changed, so now it indeed looked like someone's brain, and she couldn't help but stare at it, like it was one of the prettiest things she had ever seen. Although she had witnessed a lot of incredible things while working for Tony, this felt like something new, something really beautiful. Maybe if she had taken more of an interest into what Tony was doing in his workshop all day, she wouldn't think of Killian's tech this way. Would Tony be jealous of her thoughts? That she admired another man's work?

"Strangely mimetic, though, wouldn't you say?"

"Wow, that's amazing," Pepper gave voice to her astonishment.

"Thanks, it's mine."

"What?" She instantly looked back at him, thinking she misunderstood.

"This. You're inside my head. It's… It's a live feed," Killian said, hinting at the transmitter behind his ear. "Come on up, I'll prove it to you." Stepping onto the coffee table, he reached out his hand, and Pepper took it, letting him guide the way. Killian made her stand right in front of him and told her to pinch his arm. "I can take it. Pinch me."

She chuckled, pinched him, and gasped when she saw the light of the hologram flashing above her head. "What is that?" she asked, completely amazed by it now.

"It's the primary somatosensory cortex. It's the brain's pain centre," Killian explained to her. "But this is what I wanted to show you." With a hand on her shoulder, he made her turn around, and then explained the whole thing in more detail, so that it was easier for her to understand.

By using a 3D hologram of his own brain, he demonstrated to her how Extremis could upgrade a person's entire DNA and also showed off his understanding of the human body, as he explained how it was able to heal and regenerate human cells at an extraordinary level. Pepper was visibly impressed by the concept and Killian's presentation. In fact, she was so impressed by it that she didn't quite notice, or minded, how awfully close he had gotten. He was touching her, she was touching him, and what she certainly didn't see was the way he kept looking at her.

Happy did, though. As promised, he had kept an eye on him, and he saw everything they were doing through the glass windows. He didn't like it. He didn't like _him_. Not only was Pepper taken; she was taken and _pregnant_. So what that man was doing there, all the touching and the staring, was wildly inappropriate. If there was a way Happy could put an end to it, he wouldn't hesitate. But his thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his tablet.

"Hello?"

"Is this Forehead of Security?" Of course it was Tony. Who else would call him while he was at work?

"What?" He didn't have time for this. He was busy trying to make sure that Aldrich Killian didn't do anything stupid as far as Tony's girlfriend was concerned. "You know, look... I got a real job. What do you want? I'm working. I've got something going on here."

"What, harassing interns?"

"Let me tell you something. Do you know what happened when I told people I was Iron Man's bodyguard? They would laugh in my _face_."

Tony chuckled, as he walked down the stairs to the wine cellar of his workshop.

"I had to leave while I still had a shred of dignity," Happy said. "Now I got a real job. I'm watching Pepper."

"What's going on? Fill me in."

It wasn't like Tony was missing her—well maybe a little—but if Happy considered watching Pepper a real job, then there had to be something interesting going on right now that he'd like to hear about.

"For real?"

"Yeah!"

"All right! So, she's meeting up with this scientist. Rich guy! Handsome! I couldn't make his face at first... Right? You know I'm good with faces."

"Oh, yeah, you're the best," Tony remarked while chewing on some snacks.

"Well, I run his credentials. I make him. Aldrich Killian." Happy caught a glimpse of the man, who still was way too close to Pepper, and then focused back on Tony. "We actually met the guy back in... Where were we in '99? The science conference?"

"Um... Switzerland."

"Right, right, exactly."

"Killian. No, I don't remember that guy," Tony said, grabbing a glass of wine.

"Of course you don't remember. He's not a blond with a big _rack_ ," he retorted, eyeing Killian with a side glance. "At first, it was fine. They were talking business. But now it's, like, getting weird. He's showing her... his big _brain_."

"His what?"

"Big brain. And she likes it. Here, let me show you." Pulling up his hands, he pointed the tablet's camera at Pepper and Killian. "Hold on. Let me... See?"

"Look at what?" Tony said, "You, watching them? Flip the screen, and then we can get started."

"I'm not a tech genius like you. Just–just trust me. Get down here."

Happy was getting mad at him for completely ignoring the threat this guy, Aldrich Killian, was obviously posing for Tony's relationship. He was sure that if Tony were there, he wouldn't act as calm as he did now. That was why he wanted to show him what was going on in Pepper's office. Unfortunately though, he really wasn't good with technology.

"Flip the screen," Tony repeated, seemingly growing impatient with all the fuss Happy made about his girlfriend and her meeting partner. "Then I can see what they're doing."

Should he actually be worried? He didn't know. Because one thing his old friend was good at, was creating drama. So, Tony had a really hard time figuring out if this Killian situation was something he should really worry about. Pepper had meetings all the time, with quite a lot of handsome men, and he had never had anything to fear, so why should it be any different now?

But Happy was almost yelling at him when he said, "I can't! I don't know how to flip the screen!" so it did in fact seem serious—which is why Tony decided to look this guy up. And he had to admit, he really was handsome. Was he Pepper's type? Maybe! He could be. Should he do something about it? Go over there and, like a dog, come in and mark his territory? He didn't have to _actually_ pee on Killian, but Pepper still wouldn't like it. Probably!

Happy clearly didn't trust this guy, and Tony usually trusted Happy's instinctual perception about human nature, but there was reason for him to think it was smarter not to intervene. Because his usually very cheerfully girlfriend had been a bit fickle and capricious the last few weeks, staying out of Pepper's business felt like the better option. But thinking of it, he couldn't stop wondering why she was so easily infuriated with his antics these days, when she had always been so patient with him.

"Relax," Tony told Happy.

That was what he was going to do. Just relax and try not to think about the things Pepper was doing with Killian, or things she _might_ do with him—Shit, he already was kind of thinking about it.

"Seriously?"

"I'm just asking you to secure the perimeter. Tell them to go out for a drink or something."

Maybe Killian would keep his hands to himself and off Pepper, if they were out in public. Tony wasn't worried. Was he worried? Nah, he wasn't. He trusted that woman with his life, so trusting her with this guy wasn't hard. In fact, it was easy trusting Pepper, simply because she was the most honest and trustworthy human being he had ever met. She could never hide anything from him, because contrary to her belief, she wasn't as guarded as she thought she was. Not to him. She was an open book. Her face was full of expressions and there was no guile about her whatsoever. That woman, his darling Pepper, was the real deal.

"You know what? You should take more of an interest in what's going on here."

Happy was tired of Tony's attitude. Pepper had been nothing less but amazing to him. She had loved and supported Tony when he least deserved it, and Tony didn't even seem to care that another man was now horning in on 'his' territory. And if Tony continued to treat Pepper that way, then he shouldn't even dare to come to him—Happy— for any kind of relationship advice, because this right here, not caring, was how things got messed up in the first place. Tony could at least _act_ jealous, but he didn't even give her that.

"This–This woman is the best thing that's ever happened to you and y–y–you're just ignoring her. Besides, there's something you don't know... Something you _should_ know... and I think if you _did_ know you would…"

Upon realizing what his loose tongue had done, Happy stopped, horrified by what he had said. It wasn't his place to say anything about the baby. Pepper would bite his head off, if he did. But this was exactly why he didn't like being the only one who knew about it. Happy didn't trust himself to keep this a secret. He wasn't good at keeping secrets; he'd never been, especially if he had to keep them from Tony.

"What don't I know, huh?" Tony was now all ears again.

"I'm–I'm–I'm not at liberty to say," Happy stammered.

"What do you mean you're not... Hap, since when are we keeping secrets? Is it about Pepper?"

"Look, Tony, you don't care, okay? I got it, but let me do my job."

"I _do_ care about Pepper. How can you say I don't– Is she sick?"

Damn it! He knew he should have said something when he had heard her throw up behind closed doors that morning. But he had chosen to ignore it, because when she came back out of the bathroom, she had looked so beautiful, there was no sign of sickness or discomfort. And her smile—God, he wished he had a picture of it. Her smile had been so warm and bright; it made the stars in the sky look like metal flakes. And then Pepper had walked over to him and kissed him with those soft and succulent lips he loved more each time he tasted them and he had forgotten how to even breathe.

"You know, I could have J.A.R.V.I.S. look up her vitals right now and tell me what's wrong?" he commented, taking a large sip of wine.

"You could really do that?" Happy tried to keep his voice calm, but he was seriously afraid Tony could find out about the pregnancy before Pepper had a chance to tell him.

"Um, no... Not yet. 'Cause that'd be spying... technically... and she'd kill me if I spied on her. You know her," Tony said, a smirk twisting his lips as he thought of how Pepper might react. "But I could _make_ J.A.R.V.I.S. do it in, um, twenty minutes? Thirty... tops." Tony paused, thinking. "You know, I actually like this idea. A lot. It's brilliant. I should definitely work on that. It'd be so much easier to protect her... I gotta protect her."

"Yeah... how about you just come over here and protect her from this Killian guy," Happy growled with frustration.

"Is he threatening her?"

Tony's mind had already wandered with his thoughts. His brain was now solely focusing on the idea of getting Pepper's data uploaded to the system, so in case something happened to her, J.A.R.V.I.S. would be able to tell him right away if her heart rate was dropping, if she had any internal injuries, broken bones, if there was brain damage or if she was poisoned... There was a lot he had to consider, a bunch of things that could happen to her.

"Well no, he's not threatening her... Wait, what?" Happy felt like hitting himself against the head with the tablet. "I just told you what's going on, Tony." If Killian was threatening anyone, it was Tony... with the way his filthy hands were roaming all over Pepper's body.

"A giant brain?"

Tony tried to focus, as he was still considering if he should initiate the 'Potts vitals' program without her permission. Maybe it would make him feel better. Maybe it would help him deal with the fear of losing her. Certainly the fear of losing Pepper intensified the desire to have her. He had never wanted her more. He had never _loved_ her more. But every day, thoughts of a life without her flooded his mind like the gushing rivers during monsoon rains, and he knew losing her would take his soul, take everything worth living for. He would die from a broken heart.

"Yeah, there's a giant brain. There's a shifty character. I'm gonna follow this guy. I'm gonna run his plates and I'm gonna– You know, if it gets rough, so be it." Happy's voice brought Tony back to reality.

"I miss you, Happy," he confessed, as he grabbed another bottle from the fridge, a white wine this time.

He had done a lot of thinking and it was time for him to do some more work, to make sure he was at least in some way prepared for the worst case scenario. It didn't feel right to upload every data he had of Pepper to the system without her consent, but there were other options. One option: If he calibrated the sensors of Mark 42 to fit her profile, he could command the suit to wrap itself around her if needed. That way he could protect her. Maybe not from any kind of threat, but it was a starting point. Then later, hopefully, he would get Pepper's permission to record her vitals.

"Yeah, I miss you too... But the way it used to be," Happy said. "Now you're off with your super-friends. I don't know what's going on with you anymore. The world's getting weird."

"Hey! I–I–I hate to cut you off. Do you have your taser on you?"

"Why?" Happy frowned. Not only was the world getting weird. Tony certainly was getting weird too, a lot weirder than he usually was.

"I think there's a gal in H.R. who's trying to steal some printer ink," Tony mumbled, as he placed the communication device inside the fridge. "You should probably... go over there and... zap her."

Happy wanted to say something else, but noticed communication was cut off. He shook his head in disapproval. He really didn't know what was going on with him. Tony was toast in milk, flopping side to side. And then sometimes he was standoffish and uncompromising, and didn't even listen to whatever anyone else had to say. Happy was worried. And he knew Pepper was worried about him, too. That was probably why she hadn't told Tony about the pregnancy. Because she was scared of how he would take it.

"Just don't fuck this up, Tony," he said to himself, as his eyes settled on Pepper and Killian.

Pepper, who was now sitting in front of Killian again, had to admit that his presentation hadn't been bad at all. Except what Killian was trying to convince her of, what he was trying to get Stark Industries to invest in, didn't seem like it was in the best interest of Tony's company.

Hacking into the hard drive of any living organism and recording its DNA sounded incredible—she told Killian that in all honesty—but there was a downside to it that Pepper simply couldn't ignore. The fact it could be taken advantage of by the wrong people to do wrong things raised all kinds of red flags for her. And Tony had been there before—creating weapons. He had explicitly chosen to give it up. He would never support this, and she didn't either.

"Unfortunately, to my ears, it also sounds highly weaponizable. As in, enhanced soldiers, private armies, and Tony is not–"

"Tony, Tony..." Killian repeated his name as though he was annoyed by the mention of him. "You know, I invited Tony to join A.I.M... 13 years ago. He... turned me down. But something tells me, now there's a new," he pointed at her, "genius on the throne who doesn't have to answer to Tony anymore... and who has slightly less of an ego."

"It's gonna be a no, Aldrich. As much as I'd like to help you," she stood by her word, declining his offer, and noticed his expression change slightly.

Killian's face tightened, his jaw set in defiance, and Pepper was almost sure it was because he had thought she would react differently. He had done a lot of persuading, using his charm—that he definitely had—to get her to take his offer, but Killian should've known better. She wasn't like any other woman. Almost every day, she had to deal with this kind of sexism by men trying to push their agenda on her by appealing to her beauty, her feminine qualities, rather than her mind. And that was one thing she appreciated most about Tony; that he loved her mind as much as he loved her body.

As far as her job was concerned, he had never made her feel as though she could be convinced easily if he only batted his eyelashes hard enough. Of course Tony had tried doing that in the early stages of their working relationship, but ever since he had made her CEO of Stark Industries, Pepper felt like he really saw her as an equal and partner in this; as the hard-working business woman she had always been. Tony had always trusted her with the company, but now she finally felt like she had the job she was born to do. It was hard, but it was fun, and she loved having the authority to make decisions.

"I... We... just can't get behind this, Aldrich. I'm sorry!" As they walked out of her office, she glanced at him and was glad to see the stern look had left his face. She didn't want to be on bad terms with him, no matter what she thought of him. It wasn't good for business.

Pushing the entrance door open, he turned to Pepper and said, "Well, I can't say that I'm not disappointed. But then, as my father used to say, 'Failure is the fog through which we glimpse triumph.'"

"That's very deep," she said, "And I have no idea what it means." She offered him a warm and genuine smile.

"Me neither. He was kind of an idiot, my old man," Killian commented amused. It made her chuckle and her smile grew wider. "I'm sure I'll see you again, Pepper," he said, bending forward.

Pepper's expression immediately hardened while Killian reached out and gripped her arm, his face only inches away from her head. God, he wasn't supposed to come _that_ close. What was she supposed to do? Push him away? But he wasn't doing anything bad, was he? Not really. Although that depended on whom she'd ask. But then Aldrich pressed his mouth to the soft skin of her cheek, giving it a peck, and just for a split second Pepper felt herself leaning into him. Had he even noticed?

She continued to stare at Killian, as he walked towards his car, hating how she had involuntarily responded to him. Was that the hormones, too? Maybe it was because Tony had been a bit distant lately. He still was affectionate towards her, but sometimes—too often—it felt like his mind wasn't really there; like he was a million miles away from her. She couldn't remember the last time Tony had looked at her like he truly adored her, or how it felt when he kissed her out of the blue simply because he couldn't resist anymore. She missed the intimate moments they used to share all the time. It was as though the fire between them had been banked for a while now, and she didn't know if she could rekindle it. But that was what date night was for… right?

"Happy!" She inhaled sharply as she noticed him staring at her. His look was all about Killian, she could tell, and she felt her cheeks getting red. Why was she blushing? It was not like _she_ had kissed _him_.

"Car's ready, if you're ready to go," Happy let her know, eyeing her a bit suspiciously. Why was she acting so weird?

Pepper watched Killian get in the car while she still thought about the thing that just happened. Should she be worried that it had made her feel something? It was nothing serious, but maybe even the thought that Tony's affection for her had died down a little, could be considered some kind of betrayal.

"Yes, I just, um... God, I forgot my... other things, so... I'm just gonna..." Pepper hated the way her voice stammered the words out.

She disappeared into the building and went straight to her office. She sat down on the chair and inhaled deeply, waiting for the calm to settle over her. Pepper hoped and prayed she would be able to keep things together when she saw him. Her emotions seemed to get the better of her today and she really had to tell him about the baby. She had waited long enough. And perhaps, she would also tell Tony about Killian and that kiss on the cheek, even if it was totally harmless.

She sighed, her hands cupping her belly. It felt the same as always, but deep inside the miracle of a new life was developing. Maybe she hadn't chosen to get pregnant, but it was her choice to become a mother, and she would shower this baby with all the love she could give. She hadn't imagined it would be _this_ difficult to rebalance her hormones, she faced that challenge every day, but if she had managed to handle Tony Stark for decades, she should be able to handle this too.

"Let's go tell daddy, little peanut," she whispered, smiling, as she rubbed her belly.


	3. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Rating this M** , because this has minor smut and there might be coming more of that, so y'know, even if you wanna skip that, be warned. Someone asked me if I'm gonna keep writing this until Infinity War, and yes, I absolutely will. It will go on until I'm running out of ideas or you guys get tired of reading.

When Pepper finally made it home, the sun was already setting. There was an emergency meeting at the last moment that she needed to attend. She wanted to text Tony, but forgot all about it, when the baby made her run off to the restrooms yet again. Right before the meeting was about to start. She hated to be late for date night, but Tony left her waiting so many times, she knew he would easily forgive her for having done the same to him now.

As she pulled into the driveway, her eyes spotted a giant stuffed bunny, about 15 feet tall, awaiting her at the entrance. There was a sign around its neck saying 'Merry Christmas, Pepper.' The sight of the stuffed animal immediately made her feel anxious. Did he know? Did he know she was pregnant and made her this gift to celebrate? Her head whipped against the headrest. No, he couldn't possibly know. Pepper closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply. But what if he did know? Would he be mad that she hadn't told him? Disappointed?

After a few minutes, in which she just tried to empty her mind and relax, she opened her eyes again and got out of the car. She gazed up at the rabbit, with the touch of a smile on her face. Sometimes, life made her forget how extraordinary Tony's gestures of love could be. While she had to admit, she wasn't really a fan of this giant bunny, she loved the fact he had gone to such great lengths to surprise her with a gift—what a soft boy he was.

"Hey honey, I'm home," she greeted him as she entered the house. "I'm sorry I'm late, I was... What the... What is that?"

The fireplace was lit, there was a beautiful sunset and everything felt quiet and peaceful—except for Tony Stark sitting on the couch in his Iron Man suit. This was _not_ how Pepper had pictured this night to go down. Although, admittedly, she did have a thing for him in his suits, a major thing. However, this wasn't an appropriate outfit to wear for date night; no matter how sexy he looked striking that pose. He should've done that naked. She'd totally dig _that_.

"You're wearing this in the house now?" she asked him, letting her disappointment run through her voice. "What is that, like, Mark 15?"

"Uh, yeah. Something like that. You know, everybody needs a hobby."

"Oh, and you have to wear your hobby in the living room?" she retorted, as she sat down to take off her shoes.

She hated the fact that he seemed to be more into his suits than his girlfriend these days. Would he ever stop and take a minute to breathe? Tony had been hiding out in his workshop so much the last couple of weeks, she had barely seen him during the day. She even drove to work sometimes, without saying goodbye to him in the morning, because she knew if she saw him, she would realize how exhausted and tired he looked and it might hurt her to see him like that. She had a feeling he didn't go outside much anymore, because his face often was a little pale, and she also had a feeling he wasn't getting much sleep. She knew something was off, she wasn't stupid, but she had been afraid to ask him what was going on straightforwardly, scared to worry even more.

She reminded herself to think happy thoughts, because tonight was date night. It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be a chance for her to be free of all her worries and just enjoy getting to spend time with him. She was supposed to tell him that they were going to be parents and he was supposed to be happy about that. Pepper had no doubt that he would be, but nevertheless, she was still nervous that she could be wrong after all. They had never talked about this, starting a family. Partly because that thought hadn't even crossed her mind. And then, of course, he had been too busy being Iron Man. Now life had made a decision for them, one she could very well live with, because of the happiness it brought her.

"Just... breaking it in. You know, it's always a little... pinchy in the gooey bag at first, so..." She chuckled at his dorkiness. "Well, hey, did you see your Christmas present?"

"Yes, I did. I–I... I don't know how I could've missed that Christmas present. Is it gonna fit through the door?" Pepper asked the obvious, as she grabbed the mail from the coffee table next to her.

"Well, actually, uh, it's a good question. I got a team of guys coming tomorrow. They're gonna blow out that wall."

"Okay."

Pepper's attention was quickly drawn to the letters she held in her hands; those Tony had gotten from little boys and girls that idolized him as Iron Man. Their drawings made her smile, and the words they had written down for him in their messy but adorable handwriting warmed her heart. She was so proud of the man Tony had become. While he still had traits that weren't fit to be a shining example of how a person should be, there was a lot about Tony Stark, and Iron Man in particular, that these kids could in fact look up to. He had his flaws, for sure, but she loved every single one of them, even if it didn't sound that way sometimes.

"So, uh... Tense? Good day? Huh?" Pepper sighed, as he massaged her shoulders, thinking it would feel a whole lot better, if he'd _just_ get out of that suit. "Ooh, shoulders, a little knotty. Naughty girl," he continued. "I don't wanna harp on this, but did you... like the... custom rabbit?"

"Did I _like_ it?" Pepper wondered if she should be honest with him and tell him that she wasn't very fond of the gigantic bunny outside.

"Nailed it, right?"

"Wow... I appreciate the thought," she said, turning around in her chair with a huge smile on her face, "very much." She may have chosen not to tell him, but her words weren't a lie either.

She launched herself off her seat and slowly ran her fingertips along the sides of his armor, as she stood up. A sudden, but quite intense wave of desire washed over her. She had experienced a deep level of sexual excitement, or horniness, as Tony would call it, in surprising moments the last couple of weeks. She shook her head internally at how ridiculous it was—like that day Tony had not been working the entire time and decided to take her shopping. She had basically dragged him over to the fitting rooms and jumped his bones right then and there in public. Quite unlike her, but it had been so good, so _wild_. And now these huge waves of desire kept engulfing her with increased regularity.

"So, why don't you lift up that face mask and give me a kiss?" Pepper cooed in the sexiest voice she could muster, her face now only inches away from him.

Imitating computer beeping, Tony knocked against his head. "Huh... Yep. Damn it. No can do," he said, "You wanna just... kiss it on the..." He hit against his armor again, this time the mouth. "The… facial slit?"

"Uh-huh." Pepper moved her hand across his chest. "Well, why don't I run down to the garage and see if I can't find a crowbar to jimmy that thing open?" Uttering the last word, she walked passed him.

"Crowbar, yeah," he hummed. "Oh! Except there's been a... uh, uh... a radiation leak."

"I'll take my chances," she said, as she strutted down the stairs.

"That's risky."

His stammering should have been an indication for her that he obviously had something to hide downstairs that he didn't want her to see. But Pepper did not pay attention to it. And when she came down, she realized that Tony didn't have anything to hide in the workshop, but that _he_ was the one hiding in there. All along, the suit had been moving autonomously without him. Every single word she had said to him, she had uttered to an empty shell. The minute Pepper stepped foot inside the lab, the fairly active suit turned into a mute servant, and Tony was there doing pull-ups.

"At least let me get you... like a... hazmat suit," he kept talking to her, his voice strained. "You can..." He grunted, as he pulled himself up. "A Geiger counter or something like that." But when he noticed Pepper standing behind him, he put a stop to his work out immediately and got off the pull-up bar. "Busted."

The desire that she had felt before was gone all at once, as sudden as it had arrived, leaving Pepper with a feeling of betrayal. The smile she had worn just seconds ago was cut from her lips and she looked at Tony like it was impossible for him not to see the disappointment in her eyes. He had pushed things too far and she wanted him to know that. If this was a game to him, he was on his own, because she wasn't willing to play along. She cherished this time with him, way too much to engage in any kind of games. It was important to her, and he damn well knew that.

"This is a new level of lame," she stated, angrily, as she pushed away the plate with food that DUM-E so kindly offered her.

"Sorry." Tony put his hands up in defense. He had really fucked up, hadn't he?

"You ate without me... already? On date night?" She was deeply upset and not ready to forgive him yet, just because he apologized—which she did appreciate nonetheless.

"He was just..." Tony pointed at the robot standing next to her.

"You mean _you_."

"Well, yeah, I just mean we... were just... just hosting you," he tried to explain himself, but Pepper scoffed in disbelief, "while I finished up a little work."

"Uh-huh."

"And yes, I had a quick bite," Tony confessed. "I didn't know if you were coming home or you were having drinks with Aldrich Killian."

There, he had mentioned it—the other guy. Yes, he was a tad bit jealous and he wanted Pepper to know that. Why else would he mention it? He wanted her to know that he cared. This was his way of showing that he cared. He didn't know a better way. Okay, he did, but he didn't know how to express that. Not in this moment, he didn't. God, this whole being in a serious relationship thing was so difficult and confusing sometimes—most times—but Pepper was worth every struggle. He would learn how to be better at this… this boyfriend thing. He was still learning. Could she see that? Please. She had to.

Pepper's jaw dropped. She heard Mark 42 move and she looked at him, spitting out a "What?" as though he had accused her of something, then looked back at Tony. What was that statement all about? He could not seriously be questioning her loyalty, her _trust_ , could he? She hadn't done anything to make him doubt her feelings. _He_ on the other hand—Well, she better not go there right now. It wouldn't help his case. He was making a fool out of himself enough as it was. She didn't even want to argue with him, she just wanted to _be_ with him.

"Aldrich Killian?" she exclaimed in an angry tone. "What, are you checking up on me?"

"Happy was concerned," Tony tried to blame his friend, but Pepper saw right through him.

"No, you're spying on me," she said, frustrated and disappointed that he had managed to ruin everything she had hoped this night would be.

"I wasn't."

"I'm going to bed."

She didn't want to go to bed, but she figured, if she didn't go, their conversation would only become nastier and they both might say things they would later regret. She had to put an end to this and leave him alone. It was the right thing to do. It was better that way. However, it still hurt when she turned her back on him and headed for the stairs. It still hurt to know tonight wouldn't be the night she would share the happy news with him that their baby was growing inside her. It still hurt to see him act this way.

"Hold on... Come on... Pep!"

Tony felt like the hole he had dug himself into had become a massive pit and Pepper sure wasn't going to hand him the ladder with which to help him out of it. Instead, she was leaving him to stew in that pit. He hadn't meant to upset her and he certainly didn't want her to leave. Dammit! Why was it this hard for him to open up to her—her of all people—and admit that he had a problem; that he suffered a severe trauma and really needed her to just be there for him, because he had reached the point of not being able to handle it on his own. He was emotionally exhausted from trying to act like everything was okay.

"Hey, I admit it," he shouted, glad to see her movements come to halt, as she hurried up the stairs. "My fault." She turned to face him, and again, Tony put his hands up defensively. "Sorry... I'm a piping hot mess," he admitted, arms dropping. "It's been going on for a while... I haven't said anything..." Finally, he had taken the first step to what was hopefully his recovery. Although that would _be_ a while, he guessed. It would take a lot more for him to recover but opening up to her was a start.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave himself permission to breathe fully and deeply, releasing trapped emotions rather than holding them in through shallow breathing. He told himself that he could do this. He could tell her, tell her everything, because she was the _one_ person he knew who wouldn't ridicule him or hurt him, or do any other terrible thing to offend his sensitivities or feelings. He trusted Pepper more than anyone not to hurt him, if he showed vulnerability. He just had to bring himself to do it, pocket his pride and allow her to be there for him, like he needed her to.

"Nothing's been the same since New York," he said, and initially didn't get the reaction he was hoping for. _Still_ _mad_ , he thought. He must have _really_ upset her.

"Oh, really? Well, I, uh, didn't notice that... at all." Pepper commented, giving him the cold shoulder. Okay, maybe he deserved that for ruining their night, but he still wished she would go a little easier on him.

"You experience things... and then they're over, and you still can't explain 'em?" Her blank stare made Tony feel quite uneasy, but he didn't let that keep him from telling her how he felt. "Gods, aliens, other dimensions. I'm–I'm just a... man in a can."

He had built an automated suit of armor with his own two hands. He had turned himself into a freaking superhero. But he wasn't one. He didn't have any superpowers, any supernatural abilities. He wasn't a trained fighter like Natasha and he certainly couldn't handle a bow or change into a raging green monster. All he had to offer the world was his smart brain and a workshop full of toys, and now that he had seen the real danger out there, that really didn't sound like much. He didn't even know what he was supposed to do anymore. How could he ever protect her from all of that?

The stern expression on Pepper's face remained the same and he knew he needed to open up more. "The only reason I haven't cracked up is probably because you moved in. Which is great. I love you. I'm lucky. But honey... I can't sleep."

Tony forced himself to keep going and ignore the pain he felt inside. It constantly reminded him of what he had to lose, if he failed. It was her, and the life he had built with her. It was the _one_ thing he hadn't fucked up yet, even though he had had plenty of chances. She was still there, right by his side, and God, he needed it to stay that way, because the cost of losing her was eternal misery—unbearable. It filled him with panic. Panic and fear. And here he was, not knowing if there would be another alien attack soon, not knowing what other creepy things were even out there.

"You go to bed, I come down here. I do what I know," he finally found his voice again. "I tinker." He sighed like an old man with the burdens of the whole world on his shoulders, but looked like a kid that wanted to find comfort in the arms of his mother. "Threat is... imminent. And I have to protect the one thing," he pointed at her, "that I can't live without." Tony paused, as though he struggled to tell her the truth. Then he blurted it out, "That's you," quickly turning his gaze away for a second.

Even as he admitted how needy he was, he still couldn't look Pepper in the eyes when he said it. And she knew him. She knew how hard it was for him to say something like that. In this moment, Tony Stark was actually allowing himself to be vulnerable; to feel it, _show_ it. Pepper knew he hated to feel the things that hurt him, because God forbid, it made him weak, like an actual human being. He rather wanted to be a hero, the kind of supernatural being that didn't even know pain and suffering. Her dear Tony—always pretending to be a tough guy. Seeing him so vulnerable, hearing him admit to feeling helpless, touched her so intimately, she forgot all about their little fight earlier. It meant so much to her that he had finally opened up about what must have been troubling him for weeks.

"And my suits, they're, uh..."

"Machines." Her voice was so kind, so soft—such a gentle rebuke, the way you might remind a child to brush his teeth before bedtime.

"They're part of me," Tony argued.

"A distraction," she countered.

"Maybe."

If Pepper had to describe his facial expressions, it would be scared. He was scared to sleep; scared to put on that suit again and fight a battle he couldn't win, and scared to lose her. And she could also see that he was thankful. Thankful she didn't hold it against him that he hadn't told her about how badly the events of New York had shaken his deepest beliefs and nearly destroyed him. Thankful she hadn't gone upstairs and left him here. Thankful to have her, so he didn't have to deal with this alone. Didn't he know? Know that she couldn't live without him either? That she, too, couldn't bear the thought of losing him?

Pepper approached him and trailed her hands up his shoulders, a smile playing upon her lips. Dropping the persona he had worked so hard to create, Tony let himself collapse into her arms like he just couldn't keep going anymore. He had so many terrifying scenarios in his head, about what could happen to her. It was hard sorting through them. Like, which one could be a reality and which ones were just a fabrication of his inner turmoil. Now that she held him in her arms, like she hadn't held him in forever, his mind finally calmed.

Tony pressed his forehead to her chest and let out a shallow breath, as he relaxed his weight against her. He brought his hands to her back and gently pulled her forward. She let him guide her movements while her hands rested behind his head. Pepper dropped her cheek to his head and relaxed. They seemed to be holding each other in place. The moment between them was one of the most intimate moments they had ever shared, both feeling deep understanding and complete devotion resonating in their caress. If they could've stayed in this very moment forever, they would have. But both knew they couldn't.

Pepper was the first one to move. She took away his headset and put her hands to rest at the side of his neck, slowly running them down his arms while she looked him deep in the eyes. Tony's face, the face that was so compelling, so stern, and so arrogant sometimes, was now vulnerable in the extreme. She could see right through to his damaged soul and she wished with all her heart that once she would tell him about the baby, it would help him heal. She needed him to heal, because she couldn't bear to see him like that; suffering from PTSD, thinking he wasn't strong enough to battle it, and believing he wasn't even worthy of being called a hero. Tony deserved happiness more than anyone else in this godforsaken place.

"I'm gonna take a shower," Pepper said, kind of out of the blue, and his expression mirrored his surprise.

"Okay," he replied, frowning as she broke contact with him. What was that all about? Or rather, why didn't she ask him the obvious?

"And you're gonna join me," she added, already on her way out, turning around to him.

"Better." Obviously.

Tony took a few more minutes to finish off his work and then made his way up the stairs, past discarded clothing, to the sound of the shower in the master suite. He smiled to himself as he realized how happy it made him to see this; to see her clothes scattered all over the place, a place that used to be only his. It was hers too now. In the few months since she moved in with him, Pepper had left her footprint everywhere. Just like he wanted her to, like she was supposed to do. He wanted this to become her home and she had made it hers.

Following her lead, Tony stripped himself of his soiled clothes and entered the misty bathroom. He could detect Pepper's form through the thick steam in the shower and almost gasped at the sight. Hands propped up against the wall, she allowed the water to cascade down her back and run lazily down the length of her long, shapely legs. Completely mesmerized by her quiet, unassuming beauty, Tony stared at her for a while before he stepped into the shower behind her. She didn't move, didn't even seem to acknowledge his presence, and it brought a smirk to his face.

 _Typical Pepper_ , he thought, as he lathered up his hands and spread them across her lean back. With a deep intake of air, she finally admitted his company, and he smiled and slowly soaped her skin. He had never felt anything as soft as her wet skin. It glowed as if lit from within, like a pearl or precious jewels on display under a spotlight in a store window. He still couldn't believe that he was the man who got to touch her, _be_ with her. Pepper could have had anyone, but she had chosen _him_.

Tony gathered her in his arms and nuzzled her neck, inhaling deeply. Her scent was intoxicating.

"What took you so long?" Pepper asked in a husky voice and turned in his arms and into his mouth. She kissed him hard, and drank in the sweetness of his lips as the water fell over them, looking for a way to come between them. There wasn't the smallest space to be found.

Tony felt her melting into his flesh, as though she wanted to become one with him, and he ran his hands down the curve of her spine, to the roundness of her buttocks and back up again. His whole body urged to be let loose on her and he swore the internal heat would melt him before he could get inside her. He shifted his hips against Pepper's, brought his aching erection against the V of her thighs and all the desire he felt came back at him in her gasp. She wanted this, needed this, as much as he did, and it only made Tony want her even more.

Gently, he planted Pepper against the cool tile wall of the shower and lifted her until her legs were wrapped around his waist. He watched her face as he slowly found his way home. He felt her fingernails dig into the skin on his back, heard her moan his name sweetly into his ear, and knew he was right where he should be. Pepper's head fell back and rested against the steamy blue marble wall, warmed by the hot water. Easily they rocked to a familiar rhythm, each helping the other reach that sweet point of no return, while the passionate sounds of their tender love-making filled the shower and danced around them.

Silently, Tony released her and set her back under the water with him. He looked at her, as Pepper let the backs of her fingertips brush over his abs, sending a quiver galloping across his skin. She placed a kiss over his heart, right next to the arc reactor, breathing in deeply his scent. She opened her mouth, but no words came past her lips. It was so hard to speak, so difficult to breathe, to swallow. Simple movements became concerted efforts. The connection between them was so profound, Pepper was sure she had been created from a tiny piece of his soul.

He grinned foolishly, as he noticed her being completely smitten with him, and Pepper giggled, slightly embarrassed. "Come here," she said, almost whispering, and soaped up the washcloth to bathe him.

Tony luxuriated in her touch, as she shampooed his hair, not saying a word. He just stood there with his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her hands on him. Minutes passed. She soaped his chest and his arms, and he laughed that throaty laugh when she tickled him. Tony kept his eyes closed while she ran her small, soapy hands down his body. His maleness increased with his obvious pleasure of her touch, but it was not like he cared. Only when she stopped moving, did he open his eyes and look at her—right into her smirking face.

"Again?" she asked, cocking her eyebrow. "Already?" She clearly took mischievous pleasure in Tony's little misfortune.

"Your fault," he said, shrugging his shoulders, as though he had to play innocent with her.

"Well..." Pepper slowly—seductively—rolled her tongue over her lips. It made him take in a sharp breath, and she loved it so much, she had to laugh softly at his reaction. "Do you want me to... help?"

"Y–Yes... please," he managed to get out, looking at her like a puppy in desperate need of affection.

Pepper chuckled, as she leaned forward to give him a peck. Then she remained close to his face, pressing her forehead against his, so she could actually feel him breathe against her lips. Her hand slid between their bodies, while she rested the other one behind Tony's head, touching his hair. Both had their eyes closed, savoring the moment of intimacy between them, and Tony realized, it had been way too long since the last time it had felt this intense. Opening up to her clearly was the best thing he could have done, because he didn't have to hide anything anymore. He was completely able to let go.

The instant he felt Pepper's fingers dance up and down his manhood, air rushed out of his lungs in a fast gush. His hands roamed over her body, not sure where to stay. Tony finally fisted them in her hair, as if that would help him find balance. He groaned and attempted to tilt his head back, but Pepper pulled him close again, obviously wanting to be the one in charge. Tony had always had a thing for that kinky side of her—it was so damn sexy. Right now, though, it was torture.

Tony was painfully hard and Pepper loved the feel of his hardness, as it pulsed in her palm. She let her hand move faster up and down his thick shaft and Tony whimpered in joy. As she opened her eyes to watch him, she slowed down, then sped up again, noticing how he responded to her movement. She enjoyed every bit of it. Pepper stole a quick kiss from him and he groaned right into her mouth, but separated his lips briefly to breathe. And his breathing became heavier until, eventually, a low growl lingered out from Tony's throat asking her, _begging_ her, to finish and let him come.

Pepper forced back a laugh. "Tell me you love me," she demanded, her words only a whisper.

"Fuck," he grunted, "You know I do."

"I'm sorry… What was that?" She raised an eyebrow, tightening her grip around Tony's dick, but her movements stopped.

Tony's eyes snapped open, as he was sent shivering on the edge of orgasm, his body feeling like it vibrated. "I… love... you," he pressed through gritted teeth.

"How much?" she asked, a wicked grin creeping across her face.

"Enough to let you... do this to me... without hating you... for it," he answered, trembling.

She frowned, playfully. "Not sure if that makes any sense, but... I'll take it."

"Thank God," he cried out, almost shouting the last word, as Pepper immediately continued massaging his erection—she had caught him by surprise. God, this woman was fucking amazing!

Pepper watched as Tony found himself surging toward his orgasm and waited for him to come down from his high before she spoke, "Consider this payback. I don't like being fooled," she told him, referring to the scene earlier, when he made her believe he was actually present.

"Sorry," Tony panted hard, still shaking.

"I think you suffered enough," she said, grinning. "You're forgiven." Kissing his temple, she let the water wash over them for a while, holding him at his waist. "Feel better now?"

"Relieved," Tony replied, opening his eyes and smiling at her. He grabbed her hands, planting a sweet kiss on the back of each of them. "Mmm... God bless these."

Pepper moved closer again to touch his lips with hers. "These too," she whispered, looking him deep in the eyes. Then she kissed Tony once more, but with her eyes closed this time. She was grateful she got to kiss these sweet lips forever.

"Your turn now, c'mon," he said rawly, breaking the kiss.

"I'm fine. Thank you," she laughed.

Tony showed her a mischievous grin. "I meant your hair, Pep," he let her know, as he shook his head in amusement. "You naughty girl."

"Your fault," she repeated his words from before.

Tony laughed and began to wash her hair. He shampooed it, piling it in sudsy glory on top of her head, as he watched shampoo bubbles slide over her breasts and torso. He relished shampooing her hair, as if there was magic to it, like it had a soothing effect on his soul.

"This is the longest shower ever," Pepper giggled and tilted her head back, completely giving in to Tony's soft touch.

"And the hottest," he added with a smirk, massaging her scalp until he finally rinsed out the shampoo.

She turned around and he looked at her in that way only Tony could look at her, because no other man had ever loved her that much. They stared at each other for a moment. Then Pepper opened her mouth to say something, to tell him, but he cut her off before she could even utter a single syllable.

"Look at you!" he let out, his eyes studying her naked body intensely, like he was trying to memorize the texture of her skin. "Your face... Those curves... You're perfect!" He smiled like a fool in love—which he absolutely was—and put one hand on her cheek. "I know I've not been paying that much attention to you lately, and I'm sorry, but I will make it up to you, Pepper. I promise," he said, stroking her skin. "I love you. You and your smart mind... your big mouth... the way you call me out on my shit..." Tony's eyes scanned her body again. "This… All of this... You know I've been exploring the female body for decades and…" He saw her eyebrow go up. "Inappropriate? Okay, well… you know I've seen a lot and yours is... I mean _you_ are... You're just so goddamn beautiful!"

"Let's see how much you like this body in nine months," Pepper said, trying to keep a straight face.

Tony's hand fell from her face. "W–Wait... What?" He almost stumbled as his legs suddenly turned into jelly. Nine months could only mean one thing. He was dreaming, right?

When she saw the confused look on his face, Pepper let out a low chuckle and reached out her hand to touch Tony's cheek, her thumb brushing his soft facial hair. "You're gonna be a daddy, Tony," she whispered, choking on her words and smiling at him tearfully.


	4. The Gift of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Rated M** , as this contains a small passage of smut. Sorry it took me so long to update. Blame my beta, she's okay with that.

Tony heard more than her words; he heard the enormity of the task that now lay before him. All the things that words like, “you’re gonna be a daddy,” meant to whoever received them. He looked at her completely flabbergasted that, just like that, she had altered his future. He felt frightened, but at the same time, Pepper’s confession made him love her even more than he had before. Yet, he felt like he still didn’t fully comprehend the meaning of her words, even as it slowly started to sink in.  
  
Turning his gaze away from her, he stared down at her stomach. “You mean there’s a baby... our… baby... is... in there?"  
  
"Where else would it be, silly?" she laughed softly, and when he looked at her again, she grinned.  
  
"Pepper... Pep..." Still unable to form coherent sentences, Tony paused and closed his eyes. He caught a deep breath and let himself fall down on the wooden bench inside the shower stall while mumbling unintelligible sounds, not words.  
  
“What are you doing?” Pepper asked, chuckling. She found his reaction to be absolutely adorable.  
  
“Trying not to panic,” he answered, all the while attempting to wrap his mind around the fact that he was going to be a dad.  
  
A living creature was residing in her belly, a tiny human—the incarnation of their love—and he couldn't even fathom what it meant. The idea of becoming a father not only seemed completely surreal to him, it also freaked him out more than the sight of aliens ever could. No matter how many times he had pictured himself with a child—and he had done that admittedly—knowing that a baby wasn't just a mere thought anymore but a reality, it was simply overwhelming. Life sure had a way of sneaking up on you and changing all the rules.  
  
Tony got a grip on his emotions, wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. He would be a dad. This was a small miracle, the shock of his life. But looking at the woman responsible, he couldn’t help but think that this was exactly how his life was meant to turn out. His fate had been sealed, and he couldn’t be happier. Truly, he was. He was still panicking, but he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. It was one of these moments that he‘d remember forever. A moment he would _cherish_ forever.  
  
“Are you okay?” Pepper asked him, a little worried now, and he smiled to take that worry away from her.  
  
“I’m...” He got up, reached behind her to turn off the water, opened the shower door, and stepped out. Before Pepper could say anything, he returned with a towel. “C’mere.”  
  
“Why are we... getting out of the shower?” She frowned, but still followed his lead.  
  
“Because...” He dried her carefully and then secured the towel around her body. “We’ve been in it long enough and I wanna...”  
  
Lifting Pepper by her knees, Tony wrapped her legs around him. She let out a squeak of surprise, and he chuckled and carried her to the bedroom. They tumbled onto the bed and fell, still joined. He looked her in the eyes, sighing, then kissed her temple while his fingers combed through her hair. Tony slid his lips across her cheek, stopping for a moment to caress the top of her nose before gently heading off to explore the other side of Pepper’s face. He dropped a loving kiss on her forehead, her eyes—which she closed against the tender onslaught—then a soft kiss on her mouth.  
  
“It feels like I’m not dreaming,” he breathed against her lips, and she released a low chuckle. When she opened her eyes, he could see the wet layer covering them, but a huge smile on her face let him know that he had no reason to worry about the nature of her tears. She wasn’t sad at all. She was happy.  
  
“It’s very real, Tony... All of it.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
“Can you feel it?”  
  
“Every single day,” Pepper said, her lips twisting into a grin. “‘But, you know, it’s more the need to vomit... that I feel.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I feel partly responsible for that.”  
  
“You _are_ responsible,” she retorted, still grinning.  
  
“And I’m sorry for ruining our night. I know how important date night is to you... and it’s important to me, too... It’s just that I’m—“  
  
“You’re sick,” she spoke softly. “It’s not your fault.” She paused. “Okay, it kinda is, ‘cause you could’ve just told me what’s going on, but... You didn’t ruin anything. I’m having the best time right now.”  
  
“Good,” he smirked. “Also, I’m sorry about what I said... about you and that Killian guy. I didn’t mean to, uh, accuse you of anything.”  
  
“Oh, that!” she exclaimed. “Well, he did kiss me on the cheek, so...”  
  
“Did you like it?” Tony’s eyebrow went up. He was curious.  
  
“No, I did not _like_ it,” Pepper shot back, rolling her eyes at him, “I don’t wanna be kissed by any other man but you... Who do you think I am?” and Tony grinned sheepishly at her response.  
  
“So you want _me_ to kiss you?” he mumbled, making his case by nipping seductively at her lower lip.  
  
“Yes,” Pepper moaned, as she felt another wave of pleasure washing through her, ignited by his touch.  
  
“Where?" Tony then asked with a wide smirk on his face, looking at her suggestively, but not giving Pepper a chance to react, as he added quickly, "Oh, say no more." He licked his lips and crawled down her body, lowering himself until his head was between her legs. It was only then that Pepper became fully aware of his intentions.  
  
"What are you doing?" she laughed, "No, Tony, that’s not what I meant." Tony completely ignored Pepper’s little protest, as he released the towel and got down to action with his mouth on her lower body. She would thank him for that later.  
  
Soon her laughter faded away and she started releasing moans of pleasure. She hadn't asked for it, but she sure as hell didn't mind either. It was amazing how great he could actually be when he didn't use his mouth to talk but had it speak to her in a way that addressed every fiber of her body like he did now. Pepper moaned his name; once, twice, as her muscles tightened. When she held her pelvis out towards him, Tony grabbed it firmly. With his hands around her body, she was forced to keep still and it drove her crazy. She wanted to move, twist and turn under the pressure of her sexual arousal, but he didn't let her and the fact that he continued to give her pleasure didn't make it any easier on her. He knew exactly how to drive her over the edge, and he enjoyed hearing her moan and how she tried to free herself from his grip but couldn't.  
  
When Pepper finally reached her climax, her body still shivering with excitement, Tony slowly pulled up her body, leaving a trail of kisses behind. He now lay on top of her again, making sure not to crush her with his full body weight. She was still breathing heavily when he looked at her with that same smirk he had left her with. Within a second, Tony claimed her lips and, slipping his tongue into her mouth, gave Pepper a taste of her own juices. He wasn't surprised to feel her join in by pulling his body even closer. Eventually, he rolled over onto his back, dragging her with him, so she got atop of his body. When Pepper pulled away from him, Tony kept his arms around her waist, holding her.  
  
"So you liked... desert?" she joked.  
  
"Loved it," Tony smirked, licking his lips. "How was that kiss?"  
  
Pepper playfully frowned and said stiffly, “Wasn’t too bad.”  
  
“Wasn’t too—I’m sorry, what? Didn’t I just hear you call out my name over and over again, and then practically _scream_ at me? Like, my ears are still ringing.”  
  
Pepper laughed at him, patting his chest gently. “That actually sounds a lot like—“ She didn’t get to finish her sentence. Instead, she pressed her lips together tightly, feeling the nausea rising, and rolled her eyes. “Oh God, no,” she muttered and Tony immediately understood.  
  
“You’re not gonna throw up on me now, are you? ‘Cause that would be... That’s... Honey?” Tony could see in her face how hard she was fighting the urge to puke. “Pep...”  
  
Pepper suddenly scrambled to her feet and started for the bathroom. It happened so fast that it made him flinch. Tony followed her with his gaze, soon hearing the sounds he was already kind of familiar with. He sighed, as he got up from the bed and made his way over to her. She was hanging over the toilet, throwing up what little dinner she’d managed to eat, and it dawned on him that this sight was probably something he had to get used to. And still, Tony wished he didn’t have to. He didn’t like seeing her like that. It was awful. Painful.  
  
“Is this normal?” he asked, slightly worried, and fell to his knees to put a hand on her back. His other hand held her hair behind her head while she puked, and he watched her with heartfelt sympathy in his eyes.  
  
“I don’t know, Tony,” she let out in an exhausted breath, feeling him draw soothing circles on her back. “But I guess some of it is.”  
  
She knew that every woman experienced a different kind of morning sickness. Some women didn’t have much to do with it, while others had it so bad, they had to be hospitalized. And Pepper did indeed worry that it could be the unhealthy kind of morning sickness, but she wasn’t that far along yet, so she at least wanted to wait a few more weeks before she went to see her doctor about that. Maybe it would stop at some point, so that she could really enjoy being pregnant.  
  
Pepper continued to puke until it became dry heaves. It had been going on for so long that every muscle in her stomach ached from all the intense pressure. She was glad it was finally over. Tony pulled her back into his arms instinctively and she slumped into him. Pepper closed her eyes and he rocked her slowly, as if she were a hurt child. He reached out his hand to grab a wet tissue and gently wiped her face clean. He smiled, thinking how amazing it was that even after she had vomited more than her stomach could take, she still looked like the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.  
  
“Okay, but can we please... Can you please go see a doctor,” he more or less begged her, removing the hair from her face. “If you won’t do it for me, that’s totally fine, but do it for the baby.” He moved a little to get her sleeping shirt from the pile of clothes. “Here... Put this on.”  
  
She mouthed a thank you, pulling it over her head and chest. Then she looked at him, both still sitting on the bathroom floor. “I will go see a doctor if this keeps—“  
  
“What if this ain’t normal?” His eyes widened, worry written over Tony’s features, and his mouth formed a hard line. “It didn’t sound like it— What if it gets even worse?”  
  
“Then I will call my gynecologist.”  
  
“How about you call her first thing in the morning?” Tony suggested, his eyebrows scrolling up higher.  
  
“Tony, it’s fine,” she reassured him. “The baby is fine. Don’t you think I’d know if something was wrong?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess... But I’m—“  
  
“You know, you still haven’t told me what you think about this... really,” Pepper said to him, smiling, as she stroked her belly tenderly.  
  
“I–I think this is... terrifying... and it’s overwhelming and...” He placed a hand over the one she held to her stomach and smiled back at her. “Beautiful.” Tony hesitated briefly, as he had to remind himself that it was unhealthy to keep things from Pepper just because he didn’t want to feel them; because he wanted to hide his weakness. She deserved to know the truth. “And I’m, uh... kinda freaking out, like _already_ , because I’m worried I will turn into my own father.”  
  
“Tony…” She let her breath out in a deep sigh, but he interrupted her before she could say more.  
  
“You know that saying about the apple and the tree? The one that doesn’t fall far from it?” He moved his hand from her stomach to his head and ruffled his hair. “Well, I think with _my_ luck, that apple isn’t even gonna fall off completely. It’s gonna, like... hang on to that tree for dear life and—“  
  
“Would you please stop,” her loud voice cut him off. “Just stop thinking of... God!” She groaned loudly, then took his face into her hands while she looked him straight in the eyes. “You’re not an apple.” She almost sounded annoyed. “You’re _you_. A human being... and you’re allowed to make mistakes.” She paused. “I know your dad was a lousy father and I know how worried you are to make the same mistakes he did, but at least Howard taught you how you _don’t_ wanna be. Don’t you think that’s worth something?”  
  
“What if I—“  
  
“Listen to me,” Pepper pleaded with him, her look becoming even more intense now, “You’re not him. You will never _be_ him.” He flinched at the sharpness in her voice. “I know that you’ll be a great father, Tony, because you’ve been through so much and you’ve never given up.” Suddenly, she smiled. “Last time I saw you, you fought freakin’ _aliens_ to protect the world. You’re strong and determined... courageous... and you’re passionate... and yes, you do have occasional moments of _insanity_ , we both know that, but I don’t expect you to...” A sigh rose to her throat. “Hell, _I_ don’t know a thing about being a parent either.  
  
“You just cursed. I’m glad our baby hasn’t developed ears yet to hear that,” Tony mumbled. It made her grin. “So you’re saying I’m totally allowed to suck at this?”  
  
Pepper nodded. “And that does not make you a bad father, okay?” She leaned forward and gave him a kiss, dropping it hot on his lips. “You’re still gonna worry, though, aren’t you?” she guessed, as she pulled away from him.  
  
Now, Tony was the one nodding in response. “That comes with the territory, hon.“ Yep, he was still freaking out. Madly. “I cannot believe you kept this from me, by the way. Did J.A.R.V.I.S know?”  
  
“I had no idea, Sir.”  
  
“Liar,” he called the AI out, as he sprung to his feet. “I’m sure you even saw her taking that damn test.” Tony held out his hands to her and supported her waist as Pepper got up. “You feeling okay?” he asked and she nodded.  
  
“A little dizzy is all.”  
  
She put on her undies, moving a bit too fast, so the ground lurched like a funhouse floor. She gripped the edge of the wash basin to steady herself, but he had already slipped an arm around her small figure to prevent her from falling.  
  
“You’re off to bed. C’mon.” Tony guided her to their bedroom and Pepper crawled under the covers, tired and exhausted. “You need anything? A hot tea? A warm meal? Water? Yeah, I’ll bring you some water. You need to stay hydrated.”  
  
“Tony, I’m fin—“  
  
He had already left the room, soon returning with a glass of water—and his clothes on.  
  
“There you go, mama.” He handed her the water, watching her drink it in one go. “So weird,” he thought out loud, and a nervous chuckle issued from his throat.  
  
“What is?” Pepper asked, as she put the glass on the bedside table and fell back to the pillows.  
  
“Thinking of you as a mom... Us as parents.” Tony flashed her a smile. “But it’s the good kinda weird.”  
  
He tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable and cozy, and kissed her forehead gently. His thumbs stroked across Pepper’s temples, igniting the warmth that followed his touch over her ears and down to the sensitive skin behind her earlobes. Pepper closed her eyes, moaning in bliss. How did he impart so much sensation with a simple touch? She was lulled by the mesmerizing feel of his hands.  
  
“Cuddles,” she let out in a whisper, making him laugh softly.  
  
“You want cuddles?”  
  
“The baby wants cuddles.” Pepper batted her eyes a bit, a slow smile spreading across her face.  
  
Tony grinned. “Oh, the baby wants cuddles.” He smoothed his thumb over the back of her hand, her skin soft and warm. “I guess I have nine months to learn the special daddy cuddles, huh?” he said, his voice gently floating down to her.  
  
“Eight,” she corrected him, looking up with a grin. “I know I said nine, but technically...”  
  
“You’ve been keeping that from me for _weeks_?” Tony thought it may have only been a few days or so. “So, this is my Christmas present?”  
  
“Yes,” she said, putting her hand up to touch his face. “It’s a little late, I know, but I thought—“ Pepper was silenced by the sudden move of him crawling on top of her with a groan and swooping down to steal a kiss. And another one. Eventually, they were slobbering as they gave a few pecks on the lips.  
  
He rolled off of her then, joining her under the covers, and slid his arms around her waist, pressing against her back. He skimmed his first two knuckles slowly over her arm, from shoulder to the bend of her elbow, to her sensitive inner wrist, and she sighed and eased against him. Her fingers closed around his, where his knuckles had crept from her wrist to her palm. Kissing her shoulder and then her neck, he relaxed into the pillow, the silk of her skin seeping into his pores while he basked in the flood of hair laying between them. Tony took a deep breath and pulled her closer—he could never have her close enough.  
  
“I know I’m a mess, Pepper Potts, but I’m here for you. You know that, right?” His voice sailed to her ears on a soft breeze.  
  
Pepper smiled, as she threaded her fingers with his and gave his hand a squeeze. She knew how hard Tony was trying to be a good boyfriend, to keep his mind calm and focused. She knew how hard he struggled to meet his own expectations of how he needed to be; how he _believed_ she wanted him to be. But she loved him. She loved the piping hot mess he was. All she wanted him to do was to be a little less reckless and self-destructive. She wanted him to see how worthy he was of this life. Because she did feel like sometimes, being Iron Man and seeing all the great suffering in the world, made him forget that he deserved to be a little selfish every once in a while. His own happiness was just as important as saving the world. He had to look after that.  
  
Silence settled between them for a few minutes, then she said, “We’re gonna have to make a statement to the press soon... about the baby.”  
  
“We aren’t gonna tell anyone until you’re showing,” he argued. “I share so much of my life with the world already, this is something I would like to keep private. I don’t want those damn paps to be harassing you with questions about me and my father.” While he spoke, he played, tracing her fingers, caressing her knuckles. “‘Cause you know that’s what they’re gonna get a kick out... Comparing me to Howard and all of that A plus parenting stuff.”  
  
“I told you, you’re not gonna _be_ like him, Tony,” she sighed.  
  
“But the world doesn’t know that... Don’t you love having something that’s _just_ between us?”  
  
“I do,” she stated and turned in his arms to face him. “Although about that... um... Happy... knows.” She looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, babe. I had to run out of the board meeting, because I needed to puke and Happy came after me... He was so worried he called 9-1-1 and I had to tell him... I just had to... You know how he can look at you with those puppy eyes... It’s—“  
  
“Adorable,” Tony said, laughing. “At least now I know what he was on about when I called him earlier.”  
  
“So, you wanna keep this a secret?” she asked, “Are you sure?” and he nodded vigorously.  
  
“They’ll know soon enough.” Tony smirked, as a thought came to his mind, settling in nicely. “Oh, and... once you’re showing... we can take the jet to a deserted island and not come back until the baby is, like... I don’t know.... eighteen or so? Then the world can see how amazing he turned out... for a Stark.”  
  
“You mean she,” Pepper said, as she smirked right back at him. “Then the world can see how amazing _she_ turned out.”  
  
“So you think it’s a girl?” Tony asked curiously.  
  
“I _know_ it’s gonna be a girl. I can feel it.”  
  
“Wanna bet?” he challenged her, raising an eyebrow. “A thousand bucks that baby is a boy.”  
  
“Money isn’t worth anything to you. Let’s say...” She thought for a minute. “If it _is_ a girl, then you’re gonna have to go to see a musical with me. Whatever I want.”  
  
“Honey, you know I love you very much, but watching crappy actors, sing crappy songs, for more than an hour is not what I consider having a good time.”  
  
“Tony,” she laughed out his name. “You’re not supposed to be enjoying yourself. That’s what losing a bet is all about. It’s punishment, remember?”  
  
“And what do _I_ get if you lose?”  
  
“You get to be right,” Pepper said, rolling her eyes. “And believe me, that’s punishment enough for me.”  
  
He laughed, as he put a strand of her hair back in its place. “You’re not ever gonna live that one down.”  
  
“You have to win first.”  
  
“Oh, I will.”  
  
His grin was met by one of hers and they silently agreed on this bet either of them was sure to win.  
  
As they stared at each other, her fingers brushed over his face. She swiped a palm down his cheek and Tony closed his eyes, a small sigh escaping him. He felt a soft warm kiss on his forehead, then softly on his lips. Pepper was so close that the tips of their noses touched and her breath raised goosebumps on his skin. Tony’s eyes fluttered open. He smiled—what a great night this had been, full of banter, passion and love. Kissing her with a kiss that could’ve melted everything in that room, he made his feelings show.  
  
“I can see you,” Tony whispered to her.  
  
“I’m sure you can. I’m right in front of you,” she joked.  
  
“No... I meant I can see you with our baby,” he explained, feeling his eyes well up with tears. “You will make a wonderful mother, Pepper.”  
  
“Tony, stop!” Pepper’s loving nature bubbled underneath, as she turned to hide her face against his shoulder and giggled sheepishly.

“You wanna know how I know that?”  
  
There was a smirk on her face when she looked back at him. “Because I’ve been babysitting you for more than a decade and got plenty of experience with a loud, tantrum-throwing, and let’s not forget, occasionally annoying, child?”  
  
He replied with an arched eyebrow, his upturned lips a testament to her teasing. “Is that a complaint, Ms. Potts?”  
  
“Not at all, Mr. Stark,” Pepper answered, grinning at him.  
  
He smirked. “No... Seriously...” And then his expression changed and he gave her a severe look. Pepper noticed that he struggled to blink the water from his eyes. “Pepper,” Tony breathed, her name a caress upon his lips. “I know you will be a wonderful mother, because you’re the most caring and loving person I ever met.”  
  
“I told you to stop,” Pepper said, her cheeks blushing. “Don’t embarrass me.”  
  
Touching her reddened cheeks, he smiled. “And our baby is gonna be so lucky... so damn lucky... to have you.” He sniffed away a tear. “God, we’re a family now. This is crazy!”  
  
“Good crazy,” Pepper grinned.  
  
“Super good crazy,” he added, as he caught one of her tears with his thumb. All the while, Tony stared at her as if she was the sole light in his darkness. “Thank you for loving me, even when I’m in my most unlovable state,” he whispered to her. “I don’t mean to make it so hard on you.”  
  
“It’s not hard to love you, Tony,” she insisted. “You’re proof that a person can be badly abused... by life... and still have a heart of gold.” Caressing his cheek, she smiled. “I saw those kids’ letters... the drawings... You’re an inspiration... Their hero. And I’m so proud of you.”  
  
“Really?” He nestled his cheek into her hand.  
  
Pepper nodded. “And I know you’re struggling, but I promise you, we’re gonna fight this thing together.”  
  
She had a feeling his posttraumatic stress disorder was unfortunately going to put him even more at risk, when he was out there fighting the bad guys. But she had faith and hope that he would get through this as well. Tony had already been through so much. He had more strength in him than he thought. She knew he just had a hard time believing in himself and in the good person he was. But that was fine, because she had enough love for Tony to believe in him for the both of them.  
  
“Come here, honey,” she whispered, and Tony instantly turned around to snuggle against her.  
  
Pepper could feel the taut muscles of his back against her chest and stomach, as she locked her arms safely around him. He fit perfectly, as if their bodies had long ago been made only for each other. Kissing Tony’s neck, she stroked her hands along his arms and exhaled deeply. Tony pulled her arm more tightly around him, grabbed her hands to hold, and she smiled at his sponge-like softness. Pepper nuzzled his neck, inhaling deeply the incredible scent of his skin, musky and virile. It was a scent she could not help but respond to physically. It stimulated her senses. She would always love the way Tony smelled, because of how at home it made her feel.  
  
“This is nice,” he muttered, already sounding sleepy.  
  
“You could have this more often if you’d come to bed with me... like, at the same time,” she said, half in earnest, half in jest.  
  
Tony turned his head to look back over his shoulder at her. “I know, I’ve been spending more time with my suits than with you, but that’ll change now. I told you.”  
  
Pepper smiled weakly at him, as she closed in on his lips. “It’s okay, Tony. We’ll be okay... Just get some rest. You need it.”  
  
Then she kissed him softly, and he managed to steal another kiss from her before he turned back around. He made sure her arms were still tightly wrapped around his body when he closed his eyes. The last few weeks, he had been terrified to fall asleep, scared of the dreams that kept haunting him. If he was going to have a nightmare tonight, then at least she would be there to hold him. She would know about it and help him deal with it. Being in her arms, Tony felt as if all was truly right in the world.


	5. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with a great variety of emotions, hopefully all in character. I know that nightmare scene is such a controversial topic in the fandom, so I was admittedly a bit anxious to tackle that. Also, I decided to add more depth to Pepper's character by giving her a background story. Your feedback is making my day. Thank you!!!

Pepper woke up about an hour later to the sound of someone gasping loudly. It took her a moment to realize that it was Tony. Convulsions kept shuddering through his body and he groaned, almost wailed, like he was seized with panic. Despite the coolness of the room, his body was soaked with perspiration and Tony’s heart was beating so fast, Pepper thought it would push right out of his chest. He was obviously having a terrible nightmare.  
  
Tony whimpered, filled with horror, and she bent over him and gently shook his shoulder. “Tony,” she said calmly and then again, but a little louder. “Tony.” Pepper’s voice was shaking, as her heart surged in panic, Tony’s fear seeping through her own bones, like their bodies were connected. She tried again to wake him. “Ton—“  
  
A hand yanked at her arm violently and Pepper cried out in dismay. She stared, panic-stricken, at Mark 42 while her body was pinned to the bed. She could not break free, no matter how hard she fought. The suit held her down so forcefully, it started to hurt. Pepper wanted to scream, but she was paralyzed, as she lay there with her mouth wide open, fearing for her life. She didn’t even notice that it had awakened Tony.  
  
Instantly becoming aware of the situation, he jolted up right and spun himself around so that he faced Mark 42. He extended his arms in front of him imploringly, commanded the suit to “Power down,” and it immediately followed his instructions. Then Tony put his hands together, like he was holding a bat, and swung his arms forward, attacking the suit with his invisible weapon. Although he didn’t make direct contact, it broke to pieces. Every single part shattered on the floor. The movement of his hands was enough, a safety shutdown he’d created in case something went wrong.  
  
Tony’s breathing was still heavy; his emotions all over the place, just like Mark 42. He could hear Pepper’s gasps filling the quiet room and knew it was because she, too, had just experienced a nightmare—the only difference between them was, she had been wide awake through it all. Tony tried to calm down, but the fact that he had caused the attack by a malfunction of his implants and therefore was responsible for the massive scare she’d been given upset him so much, he could barely look at her.  
  
When the lights lit the room, Tony turned around. She wasn’t looking at him, but he didn’t need to see her face to know how she was feeling. Her gasps came out quickly and sounded so awful, like the simple mechanics of breathing had been lost in the terror of the scene. He could literally feel her choking with anxiety and he knew exactly how it felt. God, if only he could make it go away. He needed her to calm down, because this kind of stress couldn’t possibly be healthy for the baby. It certainly wasn’t. And he should have protected her from that. But he had his own emotions to deal with and that was more than Tony could handle right now.  
  
“I must’ve called it in my sleep,” he panted, his body still trembling with anxiety. And so was Pepper’s.  
  
He looked at her for a second, saw how she unconsciously clutched at the bed linens in her panic, and had to look away again, because of how it made him feel to see her like that. What had he done? While he hadn’t meant to alarm the suit, he still was the one at fault. It was his invention that had attacked her. He was the one who had created it and he was the one responsible for any kind of malfunctions it could have. He had never meant to hurt her, upset her. But now he had managed to scare her so much, Pepper wasn’t even looking at him.  
  
“That’s not supposed to happen,” Tony said. His heart was pounding in his ears and his throat burned as he fought to draw breath. “I’ll... recalibrate the... sensors.” Her breathing slowed and he turned back to her just in time to see her get up from the bed. “Can we just... Just let me, uh...” Fuck! Why was it so hard to breathe? He needed to keep her from going. He had to. She needed to stay. He really needed her to stay. “Just let me catch my breath.” He put his hands up. “Hey, don’t... Don’t go, alright? Pepper...”  
  
When she looked at him, it was like he could hear his heart break. She had tears in her eyes. He knew she was fighting them, but he could still see them. Her face was pale. She didn’t even give him an angry look. She was just completely in shock. Tony cursed himself internally for putting the woman he loved through a nightmare like this, but he wasn’t able to say anything. And even if he were, there wasn’t anything that he could say to make her stay. There was nothing he could do to keep her from leaving. And he knew she had every right to leave. She was just looking out for herself.  
  
“I'm going to sleep downstairs,” Pepper said, breathing heavily, “Tinker with that.” Then she left the room.  
  
Tony let himself fall on her side of the bed, staring at the metal at his feet. He sighed deeply. Now he’d really fucked up. The new tech had seemed like a good idea—to control the suit with his mind, communicate with his armor through his nervous system. But now it had scared away the only person in the world that he really needed in life. He had failed to protect her. Even worse, he had put her in danger. Pepper had been attacked because of him and now she was gone.  
  
Sad and lonely, he crawled under the sheets, attempting to go back to sleep, but he lay awake for hours without being able to find rest. His mind was anything but calm. What was she doing right now? Was she sleeping? Or was she missing him? Because he really did miss her. He missed feeling the warmth of her body embracing him, the scent of her hair tickling his nose. He missed lying next to her, sleeping with her arms wrapped tightly around his body. He didn’t want to be alone with the one person he couldn’t stand right now—himself.  
  
Frustrated, he ran his hands through his hair and got out of bed, headed to the other bedroom downstairs where she was sleeping. He walked through the hallway and stopped as soon as he reached the door to her room. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, then turned the knob. The moonlight coming in through the window sketched the outline of objects in the room, so Tony didn't trip over anything as he made his way to the bed. He stared at her sleeping figure for a minute, not moving a muscle.  
  
He loved to watch her sleep almost as much as he loved to gaze into her arresting blue eyes. He loved watching her slow heartbeat in the vein of her neck, watching her find her own peace in her chaotic world. He loved hearing the sounds come out of her mouth. She didn't really snore, but Pepper made the cutest little noises as she breathed. She was the complete opposite in her sleep than when she was awake. She rested peacefully and quietly, like an angel, but the moment she awoke, Virginia Potts was like a volcano erupting—so passionately filled with life, it still amazed him sometimes that she was the same person he watched at night.  
  
He slid into bed beside Pepper. The desire to be close to her and feel her warmth was too strong, and if he wanted to sleep at all tonight, it could only be next to her. Tony heard her starting to stir and even though he didn’t want to wake her, he was glad she was wakening up. Pepper breathed out his name and he made a hush sound, arms slowly wrapping around Pepper’s body as he spooned her. “I just don’t wanna be alone tonight,” he spoke softly. “Please... I’m sorry.” She sighed, and he knew that was her way of saying he could stay.  
  
Stroking along the side of her body, he drew a deep breath and kissed her shoulder multiple times. Holding Pepper close like that, that sense of intimacy, still made his heart race, even after all this time they were together. He couldn’t bear to be away from her. Not tonight. Not ever. Her touch anchored him to everything that mattered, to the feeling they were exactly where they should be. Right here. Right now. Together!

She was his anchor to the earth, the anchor holding his soul in his body. Solid and stable, she was his port, his safety net; her voice like a light guiding him to shore after he had been lost in a terrible storm—and Tony strongly believed that she felt the same way about him. He’d never had feelings this strong or powerful. All he wanted to do was stay right there, to absorb her heat, her scent, and the earthy goodness that was his beloved Pepper Potts.  
  
Without him really noticing, Tony’s hand had moved to the front of her body, resting on Pepper’s stomach. Soon she would feel the weight of this growing thing that would rely on her—on him, and that thought still freaked him out. They had talked about this earlier, and she had tried to ease his worry, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew she would be an amazing mother, because Pepper was amazing at everything she did, but he was a human disaster. He wasn’t ready for someone so small to depend on him like that.  
  
Tony caressed her belly, heaving a deep sigh, as the thoughts from before came back to haunt him again. He wasn’t the world’s greatest father; he didn’t know a _thing_ about being a good dad. How could he when his own father had been such a disappointment? But he promised himself to be the person who would love this child most in the world and maybe that would already be enough. Maybe being the best possible version of himself would be enough to be a good influence and a great dad.  
  
Pepper smiled when she felt Tony’s hand caress her pregnant belly and closed her eyes for a moment. She knew what he was thinking; that he would always question his abilities to be a good father. She could tell him whatever she wanted. There was no changing his mind. The images Tony played over and over in his mind were fearful, worrisome, and full of self-doubt. But he really _would_ be an amazing father. He was loving and caring, smart and empathetic, and so many other precious things that their baby would be lucky to have in a dad. Sure, he could be reckless sometimes, but Pepper knew their child would be able to depend on him if it needed to.  
  
Opening her eyes, she turned in his arms to face him and reached out her hand, her fingertips exploring his features as if she would learn every contour, every plane of his countenance. Her smile grew wider with each touch of his skin. He was just so beautiful, inside and out. She hoped that if their baby would be a boy, he would have his father’s eyes. Tony’s brown eyes were so warm and true—they seemed to project all the things he was feeling, as if he were really saying them. It was easy to get lost in them.  
  
She closed the distance between them, burying her face in his neck like a leech. Her lips touched his skin over and over again, as though she was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t dreaming. Pepper wanted to feel him, breathe him in, and press her body against his as hard as she could. They wrestled for a moment and then their legs entangled. For minutes, she lay motionless, her face huddled into the hollow of his throat, with one arm around Tony’s neck.  
  
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, Pepper,” he then said, feeling a sickness in his throat. “To you or to our...” When he felt the soft wetness of her tears on the skin of his neck, Tony immediately stopped talking. Great, now they were both a mess! Stroking Pepper’s back, he told her, “C’mon now... I was the broken one, remember? The focus of attention... Don’t steal my shine, honey.”  
  
He heard a sound, like a chuckle, then it fell from her lips, no more than a whisper, “You’re not the only one with nightmares.”  
  
“You wanna tell me about them,” he asked, planting a kiss on her hair.  
  
“I’m just scared for this life… inside of me,” she whispered. A sob tore into her throat and stayed there. She fought hard to choke it back, but it managed to escape.  
  
“Hey, don’t...” Tony pulled back just enough to look her into the eyes. “Don’t cry.”  
  
“It’s my stupid hormones.”  
  
“Well, then tell your _hormones_ to stop crying, because I don’t like seeing you like that,” he said, as he brushed locks of hair from her face. “I don’t like how it makes me feel.”  
  
“How _does_ it make you feel?” she asked, sniveling.  
  
“It hurts.” A crooked smile paired with a sigh emphasized his feelings.  
  
He had seen Pepper’s eyes be filled with tears the day he’d gotten back from Afghanistan, but he had never actually heard the sound she made when she cried. That sob racking her small body was like a stab to his heart. Tony hated to see her hurt, to see her suffer. Like so many other things that came with being in a serious relationship, this feeling of sharing each other’s pain was completely new to him, and it scared him. But he also loved feeling so connected to her, like they really belonged together. He just absolutely loved being in love, with her.  
  
“I’ll protect you,” he whispered after a brief moment of staring at Pepper, although Tony wasn’t sure yet how exactly. “With my life if I have to.”  
  
Pepper cupped his cheeks, looking at him through tearful eyes, as she let her thumbs stroke along his skin. “What happened to you?” she then breathed out a question she didn’t expect an answer to. “You used to be such an annoying—“  
  
“Ass?”  
  
“Playboy... and now you’re so—“  
  
“ _Less_ of an ass?”  
  
“Soft,” she said, smiling. She still couldn’t believe sometimes how much he’d changed. Then again, she had always believed this—the man she was looking at—was the real him. “How did this happen?”  
  
“You happened.” Hesitating a moment, as he choked back tears, he continued. “Found a girl. Fell in love. She loves me back. Now I’m the luckiest man on earth. You, Ms. Potts, are my very own fairytale.” It was such a cheesy line, he thought, but the words so true. “Now you’re giving me this incredible gift and I’m feeling like—“  
  
“It’s _our_ gift, Tony,” she corrected him.  
  
He shot her a smile and kissed her tenderly, a tsunami of emotions engulfing him. It was like he was thrown back to the moment he had first kissed her. Back then, he had felt rather foolish wanting to do all that gushy stuff people who are in love did. Though it was still the same woman he was in love with, this time, it was a whole lot different. Tony wasn't afraid to show it, to actually want it.  
  
He wanted to be foolishly in love around and with her, kiss and hug her, and be kissed and hugged by her in return, and if that made him look like a love-struck puppy then he couldn't care less. And Pepper didn't feel any different. They both had grown so much since their first hook up, individually but even more as a couple. Their love wasn't anything they felt like they had to hide or downplay anymore. Their love was something to be proud of. It was _real_.  
  
“I’m sorry, I left you alone,” Pepper apologized to him, speaking softly.  
  
“You mean earlier?” Tony began separating one strand of her hair from the rest. “That’s okay. You were threatened... shocked... and you had every right to leave.”  
  
“But you needed me to be there for you,” she argued, sighing. She knew she had nothing to be sorry for, not really, but she still felt bad about it.  
  
“You _are_ here for me.” He lifted the strand of hair to his face. “Your hair smells like strawberries... which is funny, ‘cause last time I checked, strawberries were the only thing you’re allergic to.” Pepper smiled sweetly at his dorkiness.  
  
He reached out, stroking her throat with the brush made from her own hair, and she felt the tickles along her skin. Tony watched her closely with devouring eyes, and Pepper had to admit there was something strangely yet irresistibly erotic about watching him play with her hair. Her bright eyes settled on his and swept him up until he was floating in the clear blue sky of them. For a long moment his gaze held hers, then Tony dropped the strand of hair he had been teasing her with and let his hand rest at the side of her face, stroking her cheek.  
  
“You are here for me,” he repeated. “You always have been.” There was a sweet smile on Tony’s face, but his brown-eyed gaze was serious. “Tell me about those nightmares.” His voice was gentle and soft but demanded a response. Shaking her head weakly, she closed her eyes. “I’m here for you, too, hon,” he whispered.  
  
“What if you won’t be?” she said, visually trying to restrain her tears.  
  
Seeing her pain, Tony clamped his hand more snugly around her warm cheek. “Look at me,” he spoke to her softly, as tears slipped silently from beneath her lashes. “Please, sweetie...” The smooth hair of his beard grazed across her mouth, as he lifted his face to kiss her eyes.  
  
“What if one day... they call me... to tell me... you’re...” Pepper’s breath quickened.  
  
“That’s not gonna happen.”  
  
“You can’t _know_ that, Tony. You just can’t!”  
  
“I’m missing the usual optimism,” he mumbled, forcing a chuckle from his dry throat. “So... is that what those nightmares are about? Me dying?”  
  
“That’s part of it.” She tried to calm down, she _had_ to calm down, but it was hard to breathe properly when her chest felt so tight.  
  
“What’s the other part?” Tony saw her move her head, as though she was trying to avoid his gaze, and quickly took hold of her chin to make her look at him. “No, no, no... Don’t do that, Pep. Tell me... Just tell me.”  
  
Wiping away tears, she took a deep breath. “In my dream, I wake up and I... I find a... dead baby in the cot... and I try to revive it... I try... everything... but it won’t breathe. I scream in panic... calling out your name... but you’re not... I’m alone... and suddenly my chest tightens... I feel like I’m being suffocated... and then my body jerks awake.”  
  
“Why didn’t I... feel it? I’m right next to you.”  
  
“You are... for, like, five minutes... When you come to bed in the morning and pretend you’ve been there all night.”  
  
“How do you—“  
  
“I’m not stupid. I know something was going on with you, I just didn’t know what it was.”  
  
“Is this about your brother?” Tony asked softly. It didn’t feel good to cause her even more pain by bringing back hurtful memories.  
  
She remembered the day clearly, feeling it as if it were yesterday. She heard her mother scream like an assassin was driving a knife into her stomach and her father’s thundering footsteps as he ran to his wife. And then her dad screamed too, as loud as he could, trying to wake her little brother. She had seen her dad shake the boy’s tiny body until he just gave up. It was too late. Her brother had died from sudden infant death syndrome. Her mother sank to the floor. Her father tried to catch her, but they both ended up on the ground, faces streaming with tears. Pepper hugged them, fully aware of what had happened—she was six years old back then—yet trying to understand how a healthy baby could suddenly just stop breathing. And while she stared at the small coffin, holding her mother’s hand, Pepper wondered how a family could ever overcome such a huge, unexpected loss. It had almost destroyed hers.

Eventually, her parents had found their way back. They had learned to smile and laugh again—love life and deal with the pain of the past. But the road to get there had been excruciatingly painful and it had changed them forever. It had changed her. And she knew Tony could be right. Maybe being pregnant reminded her of that. Of the time when her family had mourned her baby brother, who should have filled their lives with joy and excitement but so tragically had left this world without the smallest sound. And if she was lucky, telling Tony about it helped her conscience deal with it so that she would never again have to see her worst nightmare unfold. There was so much compassion in his eyes, so much love, Pepper couldn’t imagine ever feeling so at home in this world. She knew he would always be there for her—that’s what he wanted—but his role in the superhero business was something he had no control over and that really scared her.  
  
Throwing her arms around Tony, she buried her face in the crook of his neck, as she finally let go and sobbed out her fears. He held her close, one arm wrapped around Pepper while he cradled her head with the other. He sighed deeply. She had no idea how much it actually hurt him to see her break down like that. He knew once morning came, Pepper Potts would be back to being the strong and self-composed person she usually was. But right now, it took a lot for him not to start crying with her. Tony hated that this was something he couldn’t protect her from. Her painful memories would always be there in the back of her mind, haunting her. And he couldn’t take all of her fears away, all of her pain, and promise her she would never have to go through something like that again, because he couldn’t protect their child from SIDS. No one could. That was the tragedy about it. But he vowed to himself that he would be her shield and protect his family from anything else that could possibly harm them; from anyone that may dare to do them wrong, or even worse, use violence against them. He didn’t know what could happen in this crazy world, but he knew he could fight it. He was Iron Man, for God’s sake!  
  
“Let it all out,” Tony whispered to her, rubbing her back. “I’m here.”  
  
Pepper couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but she hated it. She hated crying and she rarely did it. But since she was pregnant, it had definitely become a thing in her life—a very annoying thing. She hated to feel so helpless and to not know what would happen, or what could happen. But she was hoping that all this ugly kind of crying would be good for her. That it meant she could let go of some of those fears, which she had so tightly held onto the last couple of weeks. She was exhausted from worrying about her baby’s future all the time. And although she knew it would never completely stop—with Tony being Iron Man, risking his life all the time, she would always have reason to freak out—Pepper was sure that once her baby was born, it would change. She would be off pregnancy hormones then, and hopefully find it easier to calm her mind and relax.  
  
A few minutes later when she had finally soothed her nerves, Pepper pulled back to look at Tony. “Ugh, I promise you, babe, I’m not gonna cry anymore, ‘cause it‘s really exhausting,” she muttered and rubbed her eyes, which still burned from all the tears she had cried.  
  
Tony chuckled and pushed her hair gently back from her face. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he said, pecking her lips.  
  
“No, seriously... I’m done.”  
  
“You may be done crying, Pep, but I don’t think your hormones are done _making_ you cry.”  
  
Tony laughed and pulled her close, and Pepper placed her head on his warm chest, breathing deeply to gain complete control of her emotions. The humming sound of the arc reactor was undeniably soothing. Her tears were dried and her body had finally stopped shaking. Pepper felt better. She felt safe in his arms. She knew she didn’t have to fear anything as long as Tony was there. It was when he wasn’t that she started to really freak out. And in her dreams, he wasn’t there. She didn’t even know where he was. She only knew that she was alone. Just feeling his breath tickle her skin made her feel at ease. She closed her eyes, almost drifting off to sleep, when she heard him...  
  
“I mean it, Pepper... I will protect you. I will protect both of you. I’m gonna build more suits. I need to build _you_ a suit. I need to—“  
  
Pepper sat bolt upright, facing him with a rigid dignity. “What you need, Tony, is to _not_ get into any trouble. I don’t wanna end up a widow.”  
  
His eyebrow went up almost to the edge of his hair. “You just said widow.”  
  
“I meant single mom,” she quickly denied, knowing full well what she had said. Why she had put it that way, she didn’t really know. It was said in the heat of the moment.  
  
“But that’s not what you said, Pep. You said _widow_... as in ‘a woman whose _husband_ has died.’“ Tony paused and sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard. He took a breath and then looked her straight in the eyes. “Do you wanna get…” He swallowed, couldn’t even finish the sentence.

Was this finally the moment? The moment he had been picturing in his head ever since he had made Happy hold onto that _thing_ years ago? Was this, like, a confirmation? Like, her saying she was ready to truly commit? Was he even ready? Were they actually having this conversation? Like, right now? Shit, he wasn’t ready. But she would look so perfect in a wedding gown, especially in a few months when it must look like she carried a small basketball under her dress. Okay, he was ready. He was totally ready to put a ring on it.  
  
“No.”

They didn’t need to get a piece of paper to prove that what they had was real, but God, she really wanted to say yes. She would marry him in a heartbeat. She loved him. She loved him so much, and she couldn’t imagine being with any other man for the rest of her life. She wanted to grow old with him. To have his babies—well, she was having one. But it was too soon, too sudden. She couldn’t deal with that kind of thing right now, not while she was being an emotional mess. This certainly wasn’t the moment to talk about that. But what if it was _the_ moment? Could she even risk letting it pass?  
  
“No?” Tony sounded disappointed as his voice dropped an octave. “Not ever?”  
  
“Honey...” Pepper looked at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. It wasn’t forced, it just appeared. She couldn’t help how the idea to marry him made her feel. She was surprised to see his reaction, wondered if there was more to it, but didn’t dare to ask. “I haven’t even thought about...” She hadn’t, but she clearly was doing it this very second and she loved the thought. So, what was she scared of? “I’m just tired. Let’s sleep, okay?”  
  
Tony chose to ignore what felt like a rejection by focusing on something else to raise his mood. “How about we don’t sleep? How about we have sex all night? Hot... rough... sex... like animals... Then we’ll see how tired you really are,” he whispered, swirling the dirty words around his tongue before breathing them into her ear. He gently pushed Pepper’s shirt just off her shoulder, enough to reveal her collarbone. Opening his mouth over her skin, he licked, bit and sucked on the new exposed area. Pepper allowed her head to fall backwards, groaning his name.  
  
"Tony, hold on—" she started to say but was cut off by his mouth, and she quickly surrendered, meeting the fervent intensity of the kiss. Pepper flung her arms around his neck to deepen their kiss, as he wrapped his arms around her lower back. He pulled her closer, his hands pushing her shirt up only a little before she stopped him. “I would _love_ to have sex with you,” she began, “again... all night... but I have a very... important... meeting tomorrow and I’ve only got a few hours of sleep left, so—“  
  
“You’re saying no?” Tony frowned, “To sex with me?”  
  
“I know this has never happened to you darling, but indeed I am,” she said with a grin on her face while she gently pulled his hands away.  
  
The warmth from his breath, as he sighed, tickled her skin. “Tomorrow then.” His voice almost sounded like a command. “Is tomorrow okay?”  
  
Pepper laughed softly. “Tomorrow is very okay,” she answered, grinning. She leaned toward him, her mouth close to his ear, her breath warm on his skin, as she spoke. “You know, maybe we can finally work on that tape you wanted.” Her voice purred in his ear and all the response Tony could give was a sharp intake of breath. “In front of the full-length mirror.... so we can watch.”  
  
He melted like butter on a hot piece of toast and closed his eyes, trying to stop the images from playing in his head. The soft fabric of Tony’s boxer shorts did nothing to disguise the hardness underneath. Pepper took notice of that of course when he ran his hands down the front of his pants. She laughed, tugging at his earlobe with her teeth. He made a low sound, something between a groan of anguish and one of need. He adjusted his head to be able to look at her, and the expression on his face filled Pepper with cockeyed smugness, as if she had found a weapon she’d forgotten she had. Tony wanted to curse her for her torturous ways to arouse him—she was a goddamn tease—but instead he just smirked back.  
  
“What happened to ‘I’m not gonna do a sex tape with you, Tony. Are you out of your freakin’ mind?’” He imitated her voice, with surprisingly great accuracy.  
  
“It’s called being adventurous,” Pepper replied amused. “Or really stupid... That depends.”  
  
“On what?” he asked curiously.  
  
“On whether that thing leaks.”  
  
Tony tried to hold down a giggle but it snorted through his nose. “It’s all about perspective, Pepper.”  
  
“I know _you_ don’t have a problem with that… But I really don’t feel comfortable exposing my lady parts to the world.”  
  
“That’s where you‘re wrong,” he said, grinning, “I _do_ have a problem with the world seeing you naked. Because all of this,” he gestured to her body, “Is for my eyes and my eyes only. I don’t like another pair of eyes on it.”  
  
“Tony...” she laughed out his name and gave him a quick kiss. “I can’t believe we’re even talking about this. This conversation is over.”  
  
“You started it,” he argued.  
  
“Yes... and now I’m _ending_ it.”

With a grin, she settled back against his body, snuggling up to him. Tony’s hands cradled her head, his thumbs stroking her neck just below her ear. Her eyes fell shut and her breath seemed to leave her entirely from his touch. Pepper moved even closer, filling the gap between their bodies. In this moment, she was completely at ease—finally. Tony was too. He knew that would change once he thought again about all those things he could do wrong as a first-time dad. But right now, all he could think about was the love he felt for her, and from her. A love too deep for words; a love that should be written about in magnificent epic novels. Their love for each other knew no bounds.  
  
“Pepper?” he whispered her name, stroking her arm. She didn’t answer at first, so Tony assumed she was already asleep, but then she did speak.

“Yes?”  
  
“Happy was right… You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he said, his voice so quiet she could barely hear it.  
  
Pepper smiled against his skin and kissed his chest. Her long auburn hair lashed Tony’s face, tickling him lightly. She could’ve told him he was being corny, which he definitely was, but she loved his words too much to make fun of them. And she loved Tony too much to mock him for saying stuff like that, stuff that came right from his heart. It surely hadn’t been easy for him to be so honest about it. It probably wasn’t even easy for him to admit it in the first place. She could still feel his whole body tremble with the truth and force of those words. So, she looked at him for a minute, just staring into his eyes, like he was the only person in the world who mattered. And when he stared back at her like she was a piece of perfection—which to him, she was—her brain turned to mush.

“Wait ‘til you meet our baby,” she whispered, their mouths nearly touching as she spoke.

She outlined his lips, smoothed her fingers across them, and kissed him softly with her eyes closed. Her body molded into his while the kiss lingered and lingered, and then lingered some more. When they finally broke for air, she grabbed gentle hold of Tony’s face, smiling like the fool in love that she was. Looking back, back at decades of knowing him and years of learning how to deal with his erratic mood swings and trying to grow in patience for his unending antics, Pepper could hardly believe what she was feeling. But there was a reason why she had always hesitated to hand in her resignation letter every time she had had enough of him, and never done it; why she had stayed by his side when no one else had, and why she had kicked out so many of his one-night stands, too many to count, and still given him a chance to prove to her that his feelings for her were sincere. She really felt like Tony had always been the one for her. It was such a cheesy thing to think of. But she was meant to be here with him, right in this moment, carrying his baby inside her, tucked just under her heart that swelled with love for him.

Tony put his hands on her cheeks, stroking her skin with his thumbs, and she closed her eyes, reveling in his touch and the feel of him. “We’ll be okay… Everything will be okay.”

Opening her eyes, she gazed at him. “Just don’t do anything stupid... You’re a daddy now.”

“Say that again please. I like the sound of it.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid,” Pepper repeated.

“Oh, come on.” He shook his head, laughing softly. “Not that, Pep. The other thing.”

“You’re a daddy now,” she said with an amused grin.

“Again? Maybe?” Tony asked, his puppy eyes sparkling with joy.

“You’re—“

“No, wait!” His voice tailed away and he seemed pensive for a moment, his eyes darting to the ceiling. “J.A.R.V.I.S.? Record audio!” Her eyes searched his face, her confusion obvious. “Now say it again, just once more.”

“You’re a daddy now, Tony Stark,” Pepper said, in that peculiar way of her that accentuated each word. “And if you dare to do anything stupid, I will personally kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit down until this baby is born.”

“I’ll make sure to remember that,” Tony replied, chuckling. “Good thing I got it on tape.”

“What are you gonna do with it?” she asked, tracing the line of his jaw with one finger. His soft expression instantly hardened a little. “What, Tony?”

“Okay, so this is the part I might’ve… left out earlier,” he confessed, but before she could complain about it, he continued explaining, “I had a panic attack the other day and it was… It scared me, Pepper.” “He blew out a loud breath of air. “So, I thought that maybe this would help me calm down. That if I play the recording and focus on that… on the part that’s like, ‘Get your shit together, Tony. You got a kid to take care of,’ I’ll be fine.”

“You should’ve told me,” Pepper spoke gently.

“I know. I know, honey… But, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that recording will make it worse and make me freak out even more. Like, ‘What’s up, pal? If you think having a panic attack is bad, imagine what happens to your kid if you _don’t_ get your shit together.’”

“Tony, please stop,” she begged him, putting her hands around his cheeks, and sighed. “Don’t do this to yourself again. Everything will be okay. You _just_ told me that.” She pecked his lips when he responded with a sigh of his own, much deeper than hers. Then she thought for a minute until she continued, “J.A.R.V.I.S, can you please record another message?”

“Anything for you, Ms. Potts,” the AI answered.

Confusion jumped into Tony’s eyes. Pepper met his gaze, her face hovering over his. “If you ever have one of these attacks again, listen to this…” she told him. “Now, J.A.R.V.I.S.”

Then she started talking, her blue eyes bright and focused. And Tony focused on her and her delicate face, her soft voice, and her calm demeanor, as she spoke. She recorded a message for him; one that she hoped would soothe him and keep him sane in those moments that he couldn’t control. Her smile kept his eyes glued to her lips. Seconds later, he caught himself smiling as well. When Tony looked into her eyes, soft and beautiful, he saw her heart overflowing with love for him. What did he even do to deserve it? He reached for her, his hands gently caressing her face. He was touching her face so tenderly; Pepper could only draw in a breath. There was a moment of silence, and then her smile widened and she continued, leaning into his touch. When she finished, she wound her hands slowly around his neck, closing the few inches between them. As if reading her mind, Tony captured her head and brought his mouth down on hers in a deep, lip-crushing kiss. His fingers tangled in her hair, fisting the soft strands. Sound seeped out of her as a moan. He let her go then, respecting her need to sleep and be well rested for the day. The kiss broke apart, and his nose nudged hers like a dog giving orders. She obeyed, pulling away from him slowly.

“You said no sex,” he said, grinning at her. Pepper groaned and lowered her head to his chest. Her reaction made him laugh. “We pick this up tomorrow.” Cradling her head, he kissed her hair. “Thank you for what you did… for what you said.”

“I love you,” she murmured, letting her breath whisper against his skin.

Wrapping his arms tightly around her, Tony closed his eyes and sighed contentedly. “God, I really can’t wait to meet our baby.”

“Me too.”

“Just one more question.”

“What?”

“Am _I_ the best thing that has ever happened to you?”

She laughed low, damping it against his chest.

“Why are you laughing? I am, right? I can’t be the worst thing… Or maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m simultaneously the best and the worst thing to ever happen to you.”

“The best,” she said quietly, her voice small but very clear.

And Tony smiled like a prizewinning idiot.


	6. Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies, I hope you haven't abandoned this story. I'm sorry it takes me so long to update. This fic is so very dear to my heart, it’s basically the Morgan Stark of my works—my baby—and I wanna make sure once I publish a new chapter, it’s the best I can give you. Also, because of all the drama ahead of us, I want those last moments before the attack to be fluffy and sappy... Always grateful for your feedback x

Waking up next to him immediately brought a smile to her lips. Pepper felt Tony’s arm wrap around her upper body, his breath tickling the skin right next to her ear. Slowly, she turned around in his embrace. As she faced him, she noticed how calm his expression was. He worried so much about everything and everyone when he was awake. Whenever he was asleep, Pepper felt like this was the only time his mind and soul were truly at peace. Well, at least until the nightmares started.

Pepper studied his face, took notice of every detail of it. He had gotten a little older, you could tell, she thought, and then smirked. She better not let him hear that. Tony wouldn't like it. He wanted to stay young forever, so he could keep behaving like a child. If there was one good reason for him finally wanting to grow up and stop being a kid, it would probably be having one of his own—and he was going to. In a few months, he would be meeting his child, and Pepper couldn’t stop smiling as she thought about that moment. Would he cry? Maybe even pass out?

Leaning on one elbow she lowered her face to his. Tony’s mouth looked so vulnerable, and Pepper wanted so much to kiss it. She brushed her lips against his with a feather-light touch and felt no response. Tony must be sleeping deeply, probably still recovering from the turmoil of the night before. He had always been a deeper sleeper than her, though. Someone could walk up to him and rub Tony’s stomach and he’d never wake up, or if he did, he’d just stretch and purr and fall back asleep. But no matter how deeply he slept, it only ever took him just a few seconds to bring himself to wakefulness and from there to be ready for action, mind and body.

Some instinct urged Pepper to trail butterfly kisses over the curve of his jaw, to breathe him in as she nuzzled into the hollow of Tony’s throat. His chest rose and fell in a small sigh, but he didn't move. She smiled against his skin and put her arm around him, resting her hand on the top of his head. Stroking his scalp with her fingers, the way she knew he loved it. Pepper closed her eyes again and just enjoyed the feel of having him near. Last night had taken a toll on her to the point she had felt emotionally drained, but it had definitely been worth it. She felt a whole lot better now, knowing they had opened up to each other about everything they feared.

When Tony started moving, Pepper lifted her chest from the mattress, retaking her earlier position to stare at him. Tony wiped a hand over his face and looked at her. His eyes still a little unfocused from sleep, slowly his mouth curved in a sweet smile of affection, as he pulled her down and rolled over so that he was on top of her. Pepper let out a small squeal, a squeaking sound that made Tony laugh. He grinned and brushed his lips lightly along her cheek, dropping them on her mouth shortly after that. The kiss lasted for a while, neither one of them wanting to let go.

Pulling away, Tony looked her deep in the eyes, and sighed. She was absolutely beautiful, especially in the mornings when she was still drowsy with sleep and her hair all messed up, from all the tossing and turning in bed during the night. He loved that look on her. The only look more beautiful to him was that maternal mystique that flowed from every pore, making her glow. He’d always thought it was just a bunch of bunk—humbug—but now his gorgeous, sexy Pepper Potts had that special light. Her beauty didn’t compare to anything, or anyone. And what he felt, looking at her, knowing she was carrying his child, was completely overwhelming.

Tony smiled happily at her. "Good morning, mama," he said in a whisper, kissing her again.

A chuckle escaped Pepper before she kissed him back. Then her eyes stared into her lover’s while she let her finger run along his cheekbone. “I still can’t believe this is real,” she admitted quietly.

“Mhm, yeah... Neither can I,” Tony mumbled, releasing a soft sigh. He cupped her cheek, “But then I look at you and how beautiful you are...” and moved his thumb slowly up and down as a sign of affection. “You really are glowing, Pepper.”

"Oh, c'mon, you're being cheesy.” Pepper felt the embarrassment rush to her cheeks, coloring them a little red. Turning her face away from him for a moment, she tried to hide it, but Tony saw it anyway.

"I love making you blush," he noted, grinning broadly. "How does it feel, hm? Being deprived of your power? Top-class business woman, blushing like a little schoolgirl. Not being so tough anymore now, are we... Ms. Potts?” He chuckled heartily, and Pepper shut him up by pulling him down to engage him in another kiss.

After their lips parted, Tony rolled on his back, signaling his girlfriend to snuggle into his side, a hint that Pepper only too willingly followed. She laid her head on his chest, sighing deeply as she felt Tony’s hand stroking her back. Why did they have to get up anyway? She could stay with him in bed all day; just laying there in his arms was all she needed right now, and she was sure Tony felt the same way—of course, he did. Reality sucked! It was so much more fulfilling staying in bed with him than having to go to a meeting where she couldn’t even stand half of the guys. On days like this, she hated her job.

"I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm really sorry I've been such a crappy boyfriend, Pep. You deserve better," Tony mumbled, stroking her arm. "I know that and I'm—"

"Stop!" Pepper put a hand on his chest and raised her head to be able to look at him. "We’re not gonna talk about that again," she told him, looking sincere. Leaning down, she brushed her lips across his. "I’m right where I want to be and that’s all that matters, Tony.”

"I just want you to know that I'm not taking you for granted. You do know that, don’t you?" he asked, playing with a strand of her hair.

“I know that,” she assured him with a smile.

“How are you feeling? You’re feeling okay? How’s the morning sickness? Do you need to puke? Do you need anything? Water? Milk? Breakfast? Should I make you an omelet? Is the baby hungry? What can I do?”

Pepper giggled and pillowed her head on his chest, arms wrapped around Tony’s torso. “Cancel the meeting?” she whispered, sighing.

“You want me to cancel it?” He felt her nodding. “But you’re fine, right? I mean, you’re not in any pain or—“

“I’m fine.”

“But you said it’s important.”

“It _is_ important.”

“So you still want me to cancel it?”

“Yes,” she murmured against his skin. “But you can’t, because I really have to go.”

Tony laughed softly and touched his lips to her head. “Well, at least we still have some time to cuddle.” he said as he rubbed her back and held her close. Letting her go to work was easy. Missing her was not. And he already felt like he‘d miss her a lot. He just hadn’t had enough of her yet.

Last night, when they had opened up to each other, they had shared an intimacy that he hadn’t felt with her in a very long time. They had connected in a way they probably never had before. They’d revealed vulnerable aspects of themselves and restored their unbreakable trust in each other, and Tony felt like that was the beginning of a new journey for them. And technically, it was. They would be parents soon—they _were_ parents—and now he knew about the baby too. So today was already the start of a new chapter of their lives and the first page he wanted to read of that new chapter was one filled only with love.

“I love you, Pepper,” he whispered, thinking this was the most content he’d felt in a long time. In forever.

Pepper turned her head up to him with a quick smile, then moved to lay her head next to Tony’s on the pillow. Her gaze traveled his face, finally settling on his eyes. Hands reached out to cup his cheeks and draw him closer. She kissed his lips lightly. Slow. Warm and soft. Tony looked into her blue eyes, as she held his face in her hands, only a few inches away from him. He felt her thumb grazing the corner of his lip, feeling so warm it burned, and he gave a little gasp, a tremor. Her whole face smiled, her eyes lit up, and he smiled back at her, unable not to. He was just so happy.

“Have you told your mom the news yet?” Tony asked as he brushed the stray hair from her face.

Pepper shook her head. “I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“But Happy knew before me,” he replied with a chuckle.

“That wasn’t part of the plan,” she said, laughing softly.

“Can _I_ tell her?”

She slid her hand up his arm and over the curve of his shoulder. “You wanna tell my mom?” Pepper started smiling, placing her hand at the base of his neck. She wound her fingers into the hairs that had curled up, raising goose bumps on Tony’s skin. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He smiled. “Right now?”

“If you want to... yeah,” she said, looking at him, smiling back.

“J.A.R.V.I.S? Wake up, buddy.”

Tony had stopped using the A.I. as an alarm clock the day Pepper moved in. He didn’t want her to feel disturbed; wanted her to sleep in if she needed to, without being woken up by that voice. So nowadays, he just let J.A.R.V.I.S update him with weather and surfing conditions, and anything else of interest when they were both awake.

“I’m already wide awake, Sir.“

“Great!” Tony sat up slowly in bed, letting the sheet fall to his waist, and Pepper snuggled into his side, leg and arm draped over his body as she rested her head on his chest. “Call Mrs. Potts in Brooklyn and put her on video. Pepper and I have an announcement to make.” His face was beaming with pride and joy.

They waited a few minutes for her mother’s face to appear on-screen. When it did, a heavy facial mask covered her cheeks, chin, and forehead, and fresh cucumber slices rested on her eyelids. She was wrapped in a thick white robe with a towel around her hair. They had obviously interrupted her daily beauty routine.

“Good morning, mother,” Pepper said, grinning.

“Virginia, is that you?” Carol lifted the cucumber slices and opened both eyes. “It _is_ you.” Her large blue eyes held the radiant smile, which sat on her lips. “Anthony!” her mother exclaimed, the excitement to see Pepper’s boyfriend unmistakable in her voice. “How are you, darling? Looking as handsome as ever, I see.”

“Thanks, dear.” Tony smirked. “And you look absolutely fabulous!”

“Oh, I’m doing a lot of working out lately. And I also got this new book about sex practices, and it’s doing wonders to my—“

“Mom!” Pepper covered her face with one hand, “Gross!”

Tony laughed and kissed her on top of the head. Running a hand up and down Pepper’s back with gentle strokes, he then looked back at the screen. “How’s H.E.L.E.N? Is she behaving well? Do you need an upgrade?”

“No, she’s fine,” Carol answered. “We two are getting along great. I love having her around. Thank you, Anthony. You’re the best son-in-law a mother could ever ask for.”

“Mom, he’s not your—“

“But he will be, Virginia. He will be...”

Her words almost made Tony laugh out loud, but he just chuckled and grinned broadly, his hands roaming over Pepper’s back. The noise she made was a deep-chested grunt. She buried her face in the warm skin at his neck and inhaled his clean masculine scent. Tony knew Pepper loved her mother more than anything, but sometimes it seemed she just wanted to strangle her. It always reminded him of himself and their relationship with each other. Maybe that was why he and her mother got along so well. They had a lot of things in common, first and foremost their love for Pepper.

“We have to tell you something,” Pepper mumbled, facing the screen. “And no, mother, we are _not_ getting married.”

“We aren’t?” Tony quipped.

“Oh, shut up!” Pepper slapped his chest playfully with the flat of her hand.

“What do you wanna tell me? Can you hurry? I need to wash this mask of. My face already tingles from the tea tree and vitamin E.”

“So, um, Pep and I...” Tony rubbed the back of his head, seemingly a bit nervous. “We are not getting married, but we _are_ gonna be a family.”

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon, mom. Isn’t that obvious?” Pepper smiled sweetly at her, as she pushed the sheets down to her waist and placed her hand on her belly. She ran a few circles, then patted it lightly. Tony put his hand on top of hers, and Pepper turned, smiling even more, as she kissed him.

“I’m very delighted to say, I finally knocked up your daughter,” Tony said, smirking. “We didn’t plan this, but things happen when you do it like we do, and this is definitely a dream come true.” He caressed Pepper’s stomach, smiling now. “I didn’t know I even had this dream to be honest, but being with your incredible daughter has enlarged and enriched my view of existence, so here I am, becoming a daddy... and I’m _so_ not ready for it!”

“And I don’t know if _I’m_ ready for it, but I had you to look up to, and you are a _great_ mother, so I guess I’ll be fine.” Pepper tried to read her mother’s face. “So, are you happy for us? What do you think?”

Silence settled between them for a minute. “I think this is actually the first time I’ve seen your mother speechless,” Tony whispered to her, and they both chuckled heartily.

“Mom, are you okay?”

”You’re having a baby?” Carol pressed a hand to her mouth and let out a little sob, sagging back in the pillows.

“Yes, mom, I’m pregnant,” Pepper replied, smiling. She was getting teary now, too. Damn hormones.

“And Anthony is the father?”

Pepper laughed. “Of course he is. Who else do you think I’m sleeping with? Are you silly?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just...”

“A bit shocked?” Tony finished her sentence. “That’s okay. I was too.” He pulled Pepper close again, and she snuggled deep into his side, a small sigh falling from her lips.

“How far along are you?”

“Just a few weeks,” Pepper said.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, everything’s perfect.”

“She’s having severe morning sickness,” Tony mentioned concerned, glancing at Pepper. He instantly noticed the reproachful look on her face. “What, honey? I think she should know.”

“Should I be worried?” Carol shifted nervously on the couch.

“No, I’m feeling fine. Really,” Pepper told her. “And I promise you, I will go see a doctor if it gets any worse.“

“I’ll make sure of that,” Tony said.

“He worries for two,” Pepper joked.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” Carol almost choked on her tears when she spoke. “You are a wonderful couple and you’re both gonna be amazing parents. You don’t need much when there’s love, and you two have such big hearts. This child will be lucky to have you.”

“Thanks, mama. I love you.” Pepper sniffed back her tears, smiling through them, while she wrapped her arm tighter around Tony. “I miss you.“

“Hey, why don’t we come visit and spend New Year’s together?” Tony suggested, knowing how much it would mean to his girlfriend. “You, Pepper, me... The whole family.”

“You wanna tell my whole family that we’re having a baby?” Pepper tilted her head and quirked an eyebrow at him.

“No, honey. You kidding me? Your uncle Morgan would sell us out to the press for a set of new stamps.”

“Tony, he’s not even collecting—“

“You know what I mean. He’s very...”

“Eccentric?”

“Quirky... And you know we love him for that, but we are _so_ not gonna tell him.”

“You want to keep this pregnancy a secret?” Carol asked.

“Yes, mom. We talked about it and we both agreed to keep this private for as long as possible. People will know soon enou—“ She stopped, overcome by a bout of nausea.

Tony grimaced. “Off you go,” he said, chuckling, as he relinquished his hold around Pepper’s waist.

“This isn’t funny,” Pepper protested, rushing to make it into the en-suite bathroom before she vomited.

“You’re right. It isn’t,” he called after her, “which is why I keep telling you to go see a doctor.” He sighed, and then looked back at the screen.

“Is she on medication?” her mother asked. “You know there are things she could take to help with that.”

“I don’t think she planned on having morning sickness quite so badly. I’ll make sure she gets help.” He gave Carol a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad my daughter has you to look out for her, Anthony,” she said, smiling back at him.

“She’s taken such good care of me all these years, it’s about time I give something back.” He got out of bed and quickly put on his pants. “Now that Pep’s emptied her stomach, she might wanna fill it again, so I’m gonna make her some breakfast. I’ll take you with me to the kitchen.”

While he went downstairs, Pepper’s mother took the time to bathe her face and get dressed. She settled back on the couch, just as Tony entered the kitchen, and was now looking back at him from the big monitor screen on the wall, right next to the cupboard units.

“Last night there was an explosion on Hollywood Boulevard, did you know that?” she mentioned, while Tony was preparing pancakes. “I heard Mr. Hogan was injured. Isn’t that your friend?”

“W–What?” He looked up from the stove, shocked. “Happy was in an explosion? J.A.R.V.I.S, why the hell am I only now hearing about this?”

“I’m sorry, Sir,” the A.I. apologized. “I didn’t want to disturb your sleep, so I sent a text alert to your phone. Mr. Hogan is in a coma, but his condition is stable. I would have informed you, if there was anything you could do, but unfortunately, Sir, that is not the case.”

“You mean I‘ll just have to sit here and wait for Happy to wake up?”

“You could also visit him in the hospital, Sir.”

“And sit _there_? Yeah, gotchu.” He pursed his lips and ran his hands nervously through his hair, then rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. Great! Now he had _two_ people to worry about. Three, if he counted his unborn baby.

“I’m sure Mr. Hogan will be fine,” Carol encouraged Tony to be hopeful for a quick recovery.

Tony looked at her and joked, “Well, that guy has worked for me for years, so he’s been through much worse.” It made her laugh out loud.

“You’re making me pancakes?” The sound of Pepper’s voice startled him. “That’s so sweet!”

“I ruined date night for us, so the least I can do is make sure we have a breakfast date,” Tony replied, as she came from behind and hugged him. Turning in Pepper’s embrace, he removed the hair from her face and took a very close look at her. “You good, baby?”

“I’m fine, honey,” Pepper answered, smiling. “Just hungry.”

“Then please sit down, Ms. Potts,” he said, guiding her to the chair. “Breakfast is coming right up.”

“I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds alone,” Pepper’s mother remarked, smirking.

“No, mom. I’m sorry.” Pepper couldn’t help but laugh. “Please don’t go.”

“Nah, it’s alright, darling. We’ll talk some other time. And yes, please, come visit me soon.”

“We will,” Tony said, as he slipped a pancake onto Pepper’s plate. “Send me a copy of that book.”

“The one about sex practices?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Seriously, babe?” Pepper shook her head amused.

“What? It will be fun, I promise,” he argued, smirking.

“Sweetheart?” Her mother’s face appeared in close-up on-screen, as she leaned forward and stared at Pepper with a serious look on her face. “If there’s anything I can do for you, you let me know. If you’re having any trouble with the baby, you call me. I’m here for you. Day and night. You hear me, Virginia?”

“Loud and clear, mother.”

“I love you,” Carol said, her voice softer now.

“Love you too, mom,” Pepper replied, smiling. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Take care, Cari,” Tony said his goodbye before the call disconnected. Grabbing a cup of coffee, he sat down opposite Pepper at the table.

“She’s really worried, isn’t she?“

“About you? Yeah,” he said with a smile. “And I know how that feels.”

“But there’s nothing for you to worry about,” she insisted.

“Happy’s in the hospital.”

“What?” Pepper answered in shock. “What the hell happened?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Tony breathed a sigh. “I don’t know yet. Apparently Hollywood Boulevard blew up and he was right there when it happened.”

“Oh my God, is he okay?” Pepper reached out her hand and touched his arm, trying to keep him calm.

“He’s in a coma, but J.A.R.V.I.S said he’s stable. I’m gonna have to find out more. Watch the news. Talk to the doctors...”

“You have to go, Tony,” she told him sternly. “Happy needs you.”

“ _You_ need me.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pepper insisted.

“But there’s nothing I can do,” Tony murmured, letting out a breath and rubbing his eyes. He looked at her, a positive smile ousting the anxiety of his face. “I’ll go later.”

“Are you sure?” Worry clouded her voice. “Because I don’t mind if you go _now_. I really don’t.”

Tony took Pepper’s hand into his, staring down, as he caressed the back of it with his thumbs. He bent down, kissing the soft skin of her arm, and sighed. He didn’t see her smile, but he knew it was there. He felt it. She was so good to him. So good. She made everything better, made the world feel less chaotic. Just touching her gave him a sense of stability, of calmness. He didn’t have to worry about anything when he was with her. And yet, he did. It was a fear that he had. A constant fear that the world didn’t mean for them to be together; that Pepper could be taken from him, because he didn’t deserve her. And it was true. He knew that. He knew that he didn’t deserve her, but that didn’t keep him from loving that woman more than he had ever loved anyone. He really couldn’t live without her.

“Tony?” Her soft voice made him look up. “Can you get me some coffee?”

Still holding her extended hand, he kissed the back of it, then slowly turned it over and kissed the palm of her hand while he stared into her eyes. “I could make you a smoothie if you want,” he suggested, smiling.

”Even better,” Pepper said, smiling back at him. It warmed her heart to see—and feel—how gentle he was with her. “No strawberries, please,” she added, chuckling.

He laughed and let go of her hand, then used the blender to whip up some raw-food green smoothie magic and poured it into a glass. When he put it down next to her plate, he saw that she had finished her meal. “Your drink, my love,” he offered. “Do you want another one of these delicious pancakes?”

“Would you mind?”

“Of course not,” he answered. “This is a date, remember? And I’m your man, so I will do anything to make my woman happy.”

Turning around, Tony made another pancake for her, and she watched him bustle about in their kitchen, unable to wipe that stupid smile off her face—the one that spoke volumes about how much in love she was with him. Tony Stark was not just Earth’s greatest defender but also the perfect househusband. He seemed completely at ease with himself, and she loved seeing him like that, especially after the bad night he had.

“You already do,” she mentioned quietly, her hand finding its way to her stomach.

“What was that?” Tony turned to face her as he licked the pancake batter off his fingers.

“I said... You already do... make me happy,” Pepper told him, her gaze resting on his face.

Tony’s mouth slowly curved into a smirk, and he held her gaze for a moment, then approached her from behind and hugged her tightly. He pressed his cheek against hers and reached for her hand. Their fingers intertwined, and he looked down at their linked hands, tenderly cupping her pregnant belly. Tony sighed with deep content. However good his life was, being rich and wildly popular, no money in the world could ever give him what she could. He and Pepper could live in a filthy little home with no luxuries at all, no money to spend, and he’d still be the happiest man on the planet, because all he needed was her—her and that small being growing inside her, right where their hands were linked together.

Tony tilted his head slightly to kiss Pepper’s cheek, then witnessed the gorgeous smile on her lips. He chuckled softly and kissed the side of her mouth, over and over again, until she finally allowed him to give her a proper kiss by turning her face to him. He kissed her lips once, then again, then a little more passionately when he felt her other hand wrap around his neck. He rested his free hand at the back of her head, as he held her in place, not wanting to let go of her lips just yet. Pepper softly moaned into his mouth and turned her body even more into his, making his skin tingle from her touch. He moaned in ecstasy and slowly released her.

Opening his eyes, he looked at her and grinned, sliding his finger from her neck to the valley between her breasts. “You know what? We’re gonna fly to New York tomorrow. Visit your mom. You get to have a few lazy days off from work. Days very well deserved by the way, and I... I get to have—“

“Long hours of unlimited and uninterrupted sex with me?” A sly smile spread over her lips as she spoke, and Pepper cocked an eyebrow at him, suggestively.

Tony emitted a soft laugh and pecked her lips. “Let’s be serious for a minute here, okay? I guess I could really use some time off from this superhero thing, so let’s do it... Let’s go take a real vacation. It’ll be good for me... Good for _us._ ”

“And you can do that?”

“Do what?”

“Take some time off? You don’t even _know_ how to relax. You’re always looking for ways to save the world.” She sighed upon realizing how that sounded. “Don’t get me wrong, honey. I really love the idea, but think about it for a second... Is it really a vacation if we’re staying at the—“

“But we don’t have to stay at the Avengers Tower, Pepper. We can stay at your mom’s place or–or buy a house in the Hamptons. No lab, no robots, no high tech. At _all._ ”

“Are you serious?”

“I just want you to be happy, Pep.”

She breathed deeply through her nose, grabbing him by the waist. “But I want you to be happy, too, Tony. And all this mechanical stuff... These high tech toys... It’s your life. It’s part of who you are... what you love to do. And I want you to do what you love, you know that. I just don’t want you to...”

“Overdo it?”

“ _Die_ , Tony,” she said sternly, as she held him. “Be self-destructive... Do stuff that can _kill_ you.” Pepper shot him a pleading look, and her voice was a little shaky, as she continued. “I need you, Tony. _We_... need you!”

Tony sighed and took her face into his hands. “I know... and I‘m trying, Pepper. I really am... To do better.”

She stared into his eyes, with her arms now around him, pulling him close. “I don’t want you to change who you are.”

“I know that,” he said, smiling, as he delved both hands into her unbound hair, stroking his fingers against her scalp.

“And I don’t hate the suits... I don’t want you to stop being Iron Man.”

“I know, Pep. You already told me.” His hands moved in her hair, gently tugging the long strands, smoothing them away from her face.

“But if Iron Man... If he’s the reason I’ll have to mourn over your dead body...“ The lump in Pepper’s throat blocked her words and grabbed her breath. She tried swallowing it.

“Then you’d rather see me take a step back or give it up for good,” Tony finished her sentence.

“Can you understand that?” Her whole heart was in her voice, pleading, hurting, _breaking_ at the thought of Iron Man killing the man Tony Stark—he, who she loved most in the world; the man she wished to spend a lifetime with.

He nodded, eyes locking with hers. He understood, because Iron Man could also be the reason he would have to mourn over _her_ dead body, if he let his enemies get too close.

“I just want you to be careful,” she said, whispering. “Please... You’re all I have.”

Tony smiled, as his hands came to her face, cupping her cheeks, and he touched his forehead to hers. Pepper closed her eyes, feeling them fill with tears, which spilled over onto her cheeks. Gently, his fingers wiped her tears. He kissed her cheek, but that didn’t help. She only cried harder. He held her close, pressing his forehead back against hers. Tony could feel her arms wrap tighter around him, and he shut his eyes and heaved a sigh. Would he ever learn how to love her right? It seemed like he was still trying to figure that out, even after all this time they were together.

“I wanna do right by you.” His voice was a velvet whisper sliding over her skin like the touch of fingers.

Blindly, Pepper searched for his lips, felt the graze of his unshaven beard on her face, then the heat of Tony’s mouth on hers. The kiss tasted like saltwater and love, and everything that she needed at that moment. When they parted, he hugged her, holding her body so tightly against his that it was as if he were trying to mold the two of them into one. She gently ran her hands up and down Tony’s back, feeling its muscular strength through the shirt he wore. Clasped tightly in his arms, Pepper buried her face against his chest, while Tony rested his cheek on her hair. She loved the way his arms made her feel so safe and secure.

“Remember when I told you I was done with crying?” she said, trying to lighten up the mood. “Now look at me... Didn’t even last a day.”

He cackled, his chest heaving up and down in sync with his laugh. “And do _you_ remember when I said I knew this would happen, because of your hormones?” he quipped. “I was right. I knew I was right.”

Pepper dropped a kiss to his chest, chuckling. “Don’t rub it in.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, releasing her from his arms. Staring at Pepper, he grinned. “You smell that? That’s the scent of a burned pancake. I’m sorry, honey. I’ll make you another one.”

“No, it’s fine,” she replied, smirking. “I gotta go get ready anyway. Can’t show up at the meeting looking like _this_.” She laughed softly, as she brushed the last of her tears away, and raked a hand through her hair.

“You look beautiful,” Tony said with a smile.

Pepper smiled back at him, “Thank you,” and stood up, kissing his lips. She then walked to the kitchen cupboard and grabbed a travel mug to take her smoothie with her. After she finished transferring the smoothie, she approached Tony once again. “You should go see Happy, darling. Find out what you can about that explosion.”

“Want me to drop you off?”

She brushed her fingertips down his arm and shook her head. “I’ll see you when I get back, okay? Tell Happy I said hi.”

“Will do,” Tony promised, and then watched her leave the kitchen. He sighed, knowing how hard it would be to solve this mess. He knew he had to dial it down a notch not to upset Pepper even more. But at the same time he felt a constant need to work even harder to be able to protect her. And the fact that she was carrying his child was slowly turning this need into an obsession, which made everything worse.

“J.A.R.V.I.S, can you send security detail to the hospital to take care of Hogan? I don’t want anyone to get inside his room that has no reason to be there. And gather some more info about this explosion. I wanna have a look into it when I get back.”

“As you wish, Sir.”

“And J.A.R.V.I.S?”

“Is there anything else?”

“Please upload everything you have about Pepper to the system. Physical characteristics, bone structure, all stats... everything you got. And make note of everything you _don’t_ have, so I can work on that later.”

“You want me to initiate the ‘Potts vitals’ program, Sir?”

“Yes,” Tony answered, while he was busy cleaning up the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this Sir, but shouldn’t you ask Ms. Potts first?”

“Yeah... Yes... I should.” He closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, steadying himself by holding on to the kitchen counter. “But I want you to do it now.” Maybe he would regret doing this behind her back—he so would—but if that was what it took to protect her, then he didn’t care if it would come back to bite him in the ass. “I think there’s an old blood sample you can use, from that time she went to Africa for SI and came back sick.”

“I have a bad feeling about this, Sir.”

“Me too, buddy... Me too,” Tony muttered under his breath, sighing.


End file.
